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And turning his keen ruby-coloured eyes towards his brother monk:
"Take care. Perhaps the Republic is stronger than it seems. Possibly,
too, by dragging it out of the nerveless inertia in which it now rests we may
only consolidate its forces. Its malice is great; if we attack it, it will
defend itself. It makes bad laws which hardly affect us; if it is frightened it
will make terrible ones against us. Let us not lightly engage in an adventure
in which we may get fleeced. You think the opportunity a good one. I don't, and
I am going to tell you why. The present government is not yet known by
everybody, that is to say, it is known by nobody. It proclaims that it is the
Public Thing, the common thing. The populace believes it and remains democratic
and Republican. But patience! This same people will one day demand that the
public thing be the people's thing. I need not tell you how insolent,
unregulated, and contrary to Scriptural polity such claims seem to me. But the
people will make them, and enforce them, and then there will be an end of the
present government. The moment cannot now be far distant; and it is then that
we ought to act in the interests of our august body. Let us wait. What hurries
us? Our existence is not in peril. It has not been rendered absolutely
intolerable to us. The Republic fails in respect and submission to us; it does
not give the priests the honours it owes them. But it lets us live. And such is
the excellence of our position that with us to live is to prosper. The Republic
is hostile to us, but women revere us. President Formose does not assist at the
celebration of our mysteries, but I have seen his wife and daughters at my
feet. They buy my phials by the gross. I have no better clients even among the
aristocracy. Let us say what there is to be said for it. There is no country in
the world as good for priests and monks as Penguinia. In what other country
would you find our virgin wax, our virile incense, our rosaries, our scapulars,
our holy water, and our St. Orberosian liqueur sold in such great quantities?
What other people would, like the Penguins, give a hundred golden crowns for a
wave of our hands, a sound from our mouths, a movement of our lips? For my
part, I gain a thousand times more, in this pleasant, faithful, and docile
Penguinia, by extracting the essence from a bundle of thyme, than I could make
by tiring my lungs with preaching the remission of sins in the most populous
states of Europe and America. Honestly, would Penguinia be better off if a
police officer came to take me away from here and put me on a steamboat bound
for the Islands of Night?"
Having thus spoken, the monk of Conils got up and led his guest into a huge
shed where hundreds of orphans clothed in blue were packing bottles, nailing up
cases, and gumming tickets. The ear was deafened by the noise of hammers
mingled with the dull rumbling of bales being placed upon the rails.
"It is from here that consignments are forwarded," said Cornemuse.
"I have obtained from the government a railway through the Wood and a
station at my door. Every three days I fill a truck with my own products. You
see that the Republic has not killed all beliefs."
Agaric made a last effort to engage the wise distiller in his enterprise. He
pointed him to a prompt, certain, dazzling success.
"Don't you wish to share in it?" he added. "Don't you wish to
bring back your king from exile?"
"Exile is pleasant to men of good will," answered the monk of
Conils. "If you are guided by me, my dear Brother Agaric, you will give up
your project for the present. For my own part I have no illusions. Whether or
not I belong to your party, if you lose, I shall have to pay like you."
Father Agaric took leave of his friend and went back satisfied to his
school. "Cornemuse," thought he, "not being able to prevent the
plot, would like to make it succeed and he will give money." Agaric was
not deceived. Such, indeed, was the solidarity among priests and monks that the
acts of a single one bound them all. That was at once both their strength and
their weakness.
V. PRINCE CRUCHO
Agaric resolved to proceed without delay to Prince Crucho, who honoured him
with his familiarity. In the dusk of the evening he went out of his school by
the side door, disguised as a cattle merchant and took passage on board the St.
Mael.
The next day he landed in Porpoisea, for it was at Chitterlings Castle on
this hospitable soil that Crucho ate the bitter bread of exile.
Agaric met the Prince on the road driving in a motor-car with two young
ladies at the rate of a hundred miles an hour. When the monk saw him he shook
his red umbrella and the prince stopped his car.
"Is it you, Agaric? Get in! There are already three of us, but we can
make room for you. You can take one of these young ladies on your knee."
The pious Agaric got in.
"What news, worthy father?" asked the young prince.
"Great news," answered Agaric. "Can I speak?"
"You can. I have nothing secret from these two ladies."
"Sire, Penguinia claims you. You will not be deaf to her call."
Agaric described the state of feeling and outlined a vast plot.
"On my first signal," said he, "all your partisans will rise
at once. With cross in hand and habits girded up, your venerable clergy will
lead the armed crowd into Formose's palace. We shall carry terror and death
among your enemies. For a reward of our efforts we only ask of you, Sire, that
you will not render them useless. We entreat you to come and seat yourself on
the throne that we shall prepare."
The prince returned a simple answer:
"I shall enter Alca on a green horse."
Agaric declared that he accepted this manly response. Although, contrary to
his custom, he had a lady on his knee, he adjured the young prince, with a
sublime loftiness of soul, to be faithful to his royal duties.
"Sire," he cried, with tears in his eyes, "you will live to
remember the day on which you have been restored from exile, given back to your
people, reestablished on the throne of your ancestors by the hands of your
monks, and crowned by them with the august crest of the Dragon. King Crucho,
may you equal the glory of your ancestor Draco the Great!"
The young prince threw himself with emotion on his restorer and attempted to
embrace him, but he was prevented from reaching him by the girth of the two
ladies, so tightly packed were they all in that historic carriage.
"Worthy father," said he, "I would like all Penguinia to
witness this embrace."
"It would be a cheering spectacle," said Agaric.
In the mean time the motor-car rushed like a tornado through hamlets and
villages, crushing hens, geese, turkeys, ducks, guinea-fowls, cats, dogs, pigs,
children, labourers, and women beneath its insatiable tyres. And the pious
Agaric turned over his great designs in his mind. His voice, coming from behind
one of the ladies, expressed this thought:
"We must have money, a great deal of money."
"That is your business," answered the prince.
But already the park gates were opening to the formidable motor-car.
The dinner was sumptuous. They toasted the Dragon's crest. Everybody knows
that a closed goblet is a sign of sovereignty; so Prince Crucho and Princess Gudrune,
his wife, drank out of goblets that were covered-over like ciboriums. The
prince had his filled several times with the wines of Penguinia, both white and
red.
Crucho had received a truly princely education, and he excelled in motoring,
but was not ignorant of history either. He was said to be well versed in the
antiquities and famous deeds of his family; and, indeed, he gave a notable
proof of his knowledge in this respect. As they were speaking of the various
remarkable peculiarities that had been noticed in famous women,
"It is perfectly true," said he, "that Queen Crucha, whose
name I bear, had the mark of a little monkey's head upon her body."
During the evening Agaric had a decisive interview with three of the
prince's oldest councillors. It was decided to ask for funds from Crucho's
father-in-law, as he was anxious to have a king for son-in-law, from several
Jewish ladies, who were impatient to become ennobled, and, finally, from the
Prince Regent of the Porpoises, who had promised his aid to the Draconides,
thinking that by Crucho's restoration he would weaken the Penguins, the
hereditary enemies of his people. The three old councillors divided among
themselves the three chief offices of the Court, those of Chamberlain,
Seneschal, and High Steward, and authorised the monk to distribute the other
places to the prince's best advantage.
"Devotion has to be rewarded," said the three old councillors.
"And treachery also," said Agaric.
"It is but too true," replied one of them, the Marquis of Sevenwounds,
who had experience of revolutions.
There was dancing, and after the ball Princess Gudrune tore up her green
robe to make cockades. With her own hands she sewed a piece of it on the monk's
breast, upon which he shed tears of sensibility and gratitude.
M. de Plume, the prince's equerry, set out the same evening to look for a
green horse.
III. THE CABAL
After his return to the capital of Penguinia, the Reverend Father Agaric
disclosed his projects to Prince Adelestan des Boscenos, of whose Draconian
sentiments he was well aware.
The prince belonged to the highest nobility. The Torticol des Boscenos went
back to Brian the Good, and under the Draconides had held the highest offices
in the kingdom. In 1179, Philip Torticol, High Admiral of Penguinia, a brave,
faithful, and generous, but vindictive man, delivered over the port of La
Crique and the Penguin fleet to the enemies of the kingdom, because he
suspected that Queen Crucha, whose lover he was, had been unfaithful to him and
loved a stable-boy. It was that great queen who gave to the Boscenos the silver
warming-pan which they bear in their arms. As for their motto, it only goes
back to the sixteenth century. The story of its origin is as follows: One gala
night, as he mingled with the crowd of courtiers who were watching the
fire-works in the king's garden, Duke John des Boscenos approached the Duchess
of Skull and put his hand under the petticoat of that lady, who made no
complaint at the gesture. The king, happening to pass, surprised them and contented
himself with saying, "And thus I find you." These four words became
the motto of the Boscenos.
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