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Catherine did not think the portrait a very inviting one, but it was too
late to retreat, and she was too young to own herself frightened; so, resigning
herself to her fate, and trusting to the animal's boasted knowledge of its
owner, she sat peaceably down, and saw Thorpe sit down by her. Everything being
then arranged, the servant who stood at the horse's head was bid in an
important voice "to let him go," and off they went in the quietest
manner imaginable, without a plunge or a caper, or anything like one.
Catherine, delighted at so happy an escape, spoke her pleasure aloud with
grateful surprise; and her companion immediately made the matter perfectly
simple by assuring her that it was entirely owing to the peculiarly judicious
manner in which he had then held the reins, and the singular discernment and
dexterity with which he had directed his whip. Catherine, though she could not
help wondering that with such perfect command of his horse, he should think it
necessary to alarm her with a relation of its tricks, congratulated herself
sincerely on being under the care of so excellent a coachman; and perceiving
that the animal continued to go on in the same quiet manner, without showing
the smallest propensity towards any unpleasant vivacity, and (considering its
inevitable pace was ten miles an hour) by no means alarmingly fast, gave
herself up to all the enjoyment of air and exercise of the most invigorating
kind, in a fine mild day of February, with the consciousness of safety. A
silence of several minutes succeeded their first short dialogue; it was broken
by Thorpe's saying very abruptly, "Old Allen is as rich as a Jew--is not
he?" Catherine did not understand him--and he repeated his question,
adding in explanation, "Old Allen, the man you are with."
"Oh! Mr. Allen, you mean. Yes, I believe, he is very rich."
"And no children at all?"
"No--not any."
"A famous thing for his next heirs. He is your
godfather, is not he?"
"My godfather! No."
"But you are always very much with them."
"Yes, very much."
"Aye, that is what I meant. He seems a good kind of old fellow enough,
and has lived very well in his time, I dare say; he is not gouty for nothing.
Does he drink his bottle a day now?"
"His bottle a day! No. Why should you think of
such a thing? He is a very temperate man, and you could not fancy him in liquor
last night?"
"Lord help you! You women are always thinking
of men's being in liquor. Why, you do not suppose a man is overset by a bottle?
I am sure of this--that if everybody was to drink their bottle a day, there
would not be half the disorders in the world there are now. It would be a
famous good thing for us all."
"I cannot believe it."
"Oh! Lord, it would be the saving of thousands. There is not the
hundredth part of the wine consumed in this kingdom that there ought to be. Our
foggy climate wants help."
"And yet I have heard that there is a great deal of wine drunk in Oxford."
"Oxford! There is no
drinking at Oxford now, I assure
you. Nobody drinks there. You would hardly meet with a man who goes beyond his
four pints at the utmost. Now, for instance, it was reckoned a remarkable
thing, at the last party in my rooms, that upon an average we cleared about
five pints a head. It was looked upon as something out of the common way. Mine
is famous good stuff, to be sure. You would not often meet with anything like
it in Oxford--and that may account
for it. But this will just give you a notion of the general rate of drinking
there."
"Yes, it does give a notion," said Catherine warmly, "and
that is, that you all drink a great deal more wine than I thought you did.
However, I am sure James does not drink so much."
This declaration brought on a loud and overpowering reply, of which no part
was very distinct, except the frequent exclamations, amounting almost to oaths,
which adorned it, and Catherine was left, when it ended, with rather a
strengthened belief of there being a great deal of wine drunk in Oxford, and
the same happy conviction of her brother's comparative sobriety.
Thorpe's ideas then all reverted to the merits of his own equipage, and she
was called on to admire the spirit and freedom with which his horse moved
along, and the ease which his paces, as well as the excellence of the springs,
gave the motion of the carriage. She followed him in all his admiration as well
as she could. To go before or beyond him was impossible. His knowledge and her
ignorance of the subject, his rapidity of expression, and her diffidence of
herself put that out of her power; she could strike out nothing new in
commendation, but she readily echoed whatever he chose to assert, and it was
finally settled between them without any difficulty that his equipage was
altogether the most complete of its kind in England, his carriage the neatest,
his horse the best goer, and himself the best
coachman. "You do not really think, Mr. Thorpe," said Catherine,
venturing after some time to consider the matter as entirely decided, and to
offer some little variation on the subject, "that James's gig will break down?"
"Break down! Oh! Lord! Did you ever see such a little tittuppy thing in your life? There is not a sound piece of
iron about it. The wheels have been fairly worn out these ten years at
least--and as for the body! Upon my soul, you might shake it to pieces yourself
with a touch. It is the most devilish little rickety business I ever beheld!
Thank God! we have got a better. I would not be bound
to go two miles in it for fifty thousand pounds."
"Good heavens!" cried Catherine, quite frightened. "Then pray
let us turn back; they will certainly meet with an accident if we go on. Do let
us turn back, Mr. Thorpe; stop and speak to my brother, and tell him how very
unsafe it is."
"Unsafe! Oh, lord! What is there in that? They will only get a roll if
it does break down; and there is plenty of dirt; it will be excellent falling.
Oh, curse it! The carriage is safe enough, if a man knows how to drive it; a
thing of that sort in good hands will last above twenty years after it is
fairly worn out. Lord bless you! I would undertake for
five pounds to drive it to York and
back again, without losing a nail."
Catherine listened with astonishment; she knew not how to reconcile two such
very different accounts of the same thing; for she had not been brought up to
understand the propensities of a rattle, nor to know to how many idle
assertions and impudent falsehoods the excess of vanity will lead. Her own
family were plain, matter-of-fact people who seldom aimed at wit of any kind;
her father, at the utmost, being contented with a pun, and her mother with a
proverb; they were not in the habit therefore of telling lies to increase their
importance, or of asserting at one moment what they would contradict the next.
She reflected on the affair for some time in much perplexity, and was more than
once on the point of requesting from Mr. Thorpe a clearer insight into his real
opinion on the subject; but she checked herself, because it appeared to her
that he did not excel in giving those clearer insights, in making those things
plain which he had before made ambiguous; and, joining to this, the
consideration that he would not really suffer his sister and his friend to be
exposed to a danger from which he might easily preserve them, she concluded at
last that he must know the carriage to be in fact perfectly safe, and therefore
would alarm herself no longer. By him the whole matter seemed entirely
forgotten; and all the rest of his conversation, or rather talk, began and
ended with himself and his own concerns. He told her of horses which he had
bought for a trifle and sold for incredible sums; of racing matches, in which
his judgment had infallibly foretold the winner; of shooting parties, in which
he had killed more birds (though without having one good shot) than all his
companions together; and described to her some famous day's sport, with the
fox-hounds, in which his foresight and skill in directing the dogs had repaired
the mistakes of the most experienced huntsman, and in which the boldness of his
riding, though it had never endangered his own life for a moment, had been
constantly leading others into difficulties, which he calmly concluded had
broken the necks of many.
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