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Isn't
almost pretty pleasant? You know well enough that I care for you. I did from
the first minute I saw you, and I'm pretty sure you knew it--I'm afraid you
did. I'm afraid you always knew it. I'm not conventional and cautious about
being engaged, as you say I am, dear. (I always read over the "dears"
in your letters a time or two, as you say you do in mine--only I read all of
your letters a time or two!) But it's such a solemn thing it scares me, It
means a good deal to a lot of people besides you and me, and that scares me,
too. You write that I take your feeling for me "too lightly" and that
I "take the whole affair too lightly." Isn't that odd! Because to
myself I seem to take it as something so much more solemn than you do. I
shouldn't be a bit surprised to find myself an old lady, some day, still
thinking of you--while you'd be away and away with somebody else perhaps, and
me forgotten ages ago! "Lucy Morgan," you'd say, when you saw my
obituary. "Lucy Morgan? Let me see: I seem to remember the name. Didn't I
know some Lucy Morgan or other, once upon a time?" Then you'd shake your
big white head and stroke your long white beard--you'd have such a
distinguished long white beard! and you'd say, 'No. I don't seem to remember
any Lucy Morgan; I wonder what made me think I did? ' And poor me! I'd be deep
in the ground, wondering if you'd heard about it and what you were saying!
Good-bye for to-day. Don't work too hard dear!
George
immediately seized pen and paper, plaintively but vigorously requesting Lucy
not to imagine him with a beard, distinguished or otherwise, even in the
extremities of age. Then, after inscribing his protest in the matter of this
visioned beard, he concluded his missive in a tone mollified to tenderness, and
proceeded to read a letter from his mother which had reached him simultaneously
with Lucy's. Isabel wrote from Asheville, where she had just arrived with her
husband.
I
think your father looks better already, darling, though we've been here only a
few hours. It may be we've found just the place to build him up. The doctors
said they hoped it would prove to be, and if it is, it would be worth the long
struggle we had with him to get him to give up and come. Poor dear man, he was
so blue, not about his health but about giving up the worries down at his office
and forgetting them for a time--if he only will forget them! It took the
pressure of the family and all his best friends, to get him to come--but father
and brother George and Fanny and Eugene Morgan all kept at him so constantly
that he just had to give in. I'm afraid that in my anxiety to get him to do
what the doctors wanted him to, I wasn't able to back up brother George as I
should in his difficulty with Sydney and Amelia. I'm so sorry! George is more
upset than I've ever seen him--they've got what they wanted, and they're
sailing before long, I hear, to live in Florence. Father said he couldn't stand
the constant persuading--I'm afraid the word he used was "nagging." I
can't understand people behaving like that. George says they may be Ambersons,
but they're vulgar! I'm afraid I almost agree with him. At least, I think they
were inconsiderate. But I don't see why I'm unburdening myself of all this to
you, poor darling! We'll have forgotten all about it long before you come home
for the holidays, and it should mean little or nothing to you, anyway. Forget
that I've been so foolish!
Your
father is waiting for me to take a walk with him--that's a splendid sign,
because he hasn't felt he could walk much, at home, lately. I mustn't keep him
waiting. Be careful to wear your mackintosh and rubbers in rainy weather, and,
as soon as it begins to get colder, your ulster. Wish you could see your father
now. Looks so much better! We plan to stay six weeks if the place agrees with
him. It does really seem to already! He's just called in the door to say he's
waiting. Don't smoke too much, darling boy.
Devotedly,
your mother
ISABEL.
But
she did not keep her husband there for the six weeks she anticipated. She did
not keep him anywhere that long. Three weeks after writing this letter, she
telegraphed suddenly to George that they were leaving for home at once; and
four days later, when he and a friend came whistling into his study, from lunch
at the club, he found another telegram upon his desk.
He
read it twice before he comprehended its import.
Papa
left us at ten this morning, dearest.
MOTHER.
The friend saw the change in his face. "Not bad news?"
George
lifted utterly dumfounded eyes from the yellow paper.
"My
father," he said weakly. "She says--she says he's dead. I've got to
go home."
.
. . His Uncle George and the Major met him at the station when he arrived--the
first time the Major had ever come to meet his grandson. The old gentleman sat
in his closed carriage (which still needed paint) at the entrance to the
station, but he got out and advanced to grasp George's hand tremulously, when
the latter appeared. "Poor fellow!" he said, and patted him
repeatedly upon the shoulder. "Poor fellow! Poor Georgie!"
George
had not yet come to a full realization of his loss: so far, his condition was
merely dazed; and as the Major continued to pat him, murmuring "Poor
fellow!" over and over, George was seized by an almost irresistible
impulse to tell his grandfather that he was not a poodle. But he said "Thanks,"
in a low voice, and got into the carriage, his two relatives following with
deferential sympathy. He noticed that the Major's tremulousness did not
disappear, as they drove up the street, and that he seemed much feebler than
during the summer. Principally, however, George was concerned with his own
emotion, or rather, with his lack of emotion; and the anxious sympathy of his
grandfather and his uncle made him feel hypocritical. He was not
grief-stricken; but he felt that he ought to be, and, with a secret shame, concealed
his callousness beneath an affectation of solemnity.
But
when he was taken into the room where lay what was left of Wilbur Minafer,
George had no longer to pretend; his grief was sufficient. It needed only the
sight of that forever inert semblance of the quiet man who had been always so
quiet a part of his son's life--so quiet a part that George had seldom been
consciously aware that his father was indeed a part of his life. As the figure
lay there, its very quietness was what was most lifelike; and suddenly it
struck George hard. And in that unexpected, racking grief of his son, Wilbur
Minafer became more vividly George's father than he had ever been in life.
When
George left the room, his arm was about his black-robed mother, his shoulders
were still shaken with sobs. He leaned upon his mother; she gently comforted
him; and presently he recovered his composure and became self-conscious enough
to wonder if he had not been making an unmanly display of himself. "I'm
all right again, mother," he said awkwardly. "Don't worry about me:
you'd better go lie down, or something; you look pretty pale."
Isabel
did look pretty pale, but not ghastly pale, as Fanny did. Fanny's grief was
overwhelming: she stayed in her room, and George did not see her until the next
day, a few minutes before the funeral, when her haggard face appalled him. But
by this time he was quite himself again, and during the short service in the
cemetery his thoughts even wandered so far as to permit him a feeling of regret
not directly connected with his father. Beyond the open flower-walled grave was
a mound where new grass grew; and here lay his great-uncle, old John Minafer,
who had died the previous autumn; and beyond this were the graves of George's
grandfather and grandmother Minafer, and of his grandfather Minafer's second
wife, and her three sons, George's half-uncles, who had been drowned together
in a canoe accident when George was a child--Fanny was the last of the family.
Next beyond was the Amberson family lot, where lay the Major's wife and their
sons Henry and Milton, uncles whom George dimly remembered; and beside them lay
Isabel's older sister, his Aunt Estelle, who had died in her girlhood, long
before George was born. The Minafer monument was a granite block, with the name
chiselled upon its one polished side, and the Amberson monument was a white
marble shaft, taller than any other in that neighbourhood. But farther on there
was a newer section of the cemetery, an addition which had been thrown open to
occupancy only a few years before, after dexterous modern treatment by a
landscape specialist. There were some large new mausoleums here, and shafts
taller than the Ambersons', as well as a number of monuments of some sculptural
pretentiousness; and altogether the new section appeared to be a more
fashionable and important quarter than that older one which contained the
Amberson and Minafer lots. This was what caused George's regret, during the
moment or two when his mind strayed from his father and the reading of the
service.
.
. . On the train, going back to college, ten days later, this regret (though it
was as much an annoyance as a regret) recurred to his mind, and a feeling
developed within him that the new quarter of the cemetery was in bad taste--not
architecturally or sculpturally perhaps, but in presumption: it seemed to
flaunt a kind of parvenu ignorance, as if it were actually pleased to be
unaware that all the aristocratic and really important families were buried the
old section.
The
annoyance gave way before a recollection of the sweet mournfulness of his
mother's face, as she had said good-bye to him at the station, and of how
lovely she looked in her mourning. He thought of Lucy, whom he had seen only
twice, and he could not help feeling that in these quiet interviews he had
appeared to her as tinged with heroism--she had shown, rather than said, how
brave she thought him in his sorrow. But what came most vividly to George's
mind, during these retrospections, was the despairing face of his Aunt Fanny.
Again and again he thought of it; he could not avoid its haunting. And for
days, after he got back to college, the stricken likeness of Fanny would appear
before him unexpectedly, and without a cause that he could trace in his
immediately previous thoughts. Her grief had been so silent, yet it had so
amazed him.
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