People
speaking casually of Lucy were apt to define her as "a little
beauty," a definition short of the mark. She was "a little
beauty," but an independent, masterful, self-reliant little American, of
whom her father's earlier gipsyings and her own sturdiness had made a woman
ever since she was fifteen. But though she was the mistress of her own ways and
no slave to any lamp save that of her own conscience, she had a weakness: she
had fallen in love with George Amberson Minafer at first sight, and no matter
how she disciplined herself, she had never been able to climb out. The thing
had happened to her; that was all. George had looked just the way she had
always wanted someone to look--the riskiest of all the moonshine ambushes
wherein tricky romance snares credulous young love. But what was fatal to Lucy
was that this thing having happened to her, she could not change it. No matter
what she discovered in George's nature she was unable to take away what she had
given him; and though she could think differently about him, she could not feel
differently about him, for she was one of those too faithful victims of
glamour. When she managed to keep the picture of George away from her mind's
eye, she did well enough; but when she let him become visible, she could not
choose but love what she disdained. She was a little angel who had fallen in
love with highhanded Lucifer; quite an experience, and not apt to be soon
succeeded by any falling in love with a tamer party--and the unhappy truth was
that George did make better men seem tame. But though she was a victim, she was
a heroic one, anything but helpless.
As
they drew nearer, George tried to prepare himself to meet her with some
remnants of aplomb. He decided that he would keep on looking straight ahead,
and lift his hand toward his hat at the very last moment when it would be
possible for her to see him out of the corner of her eye: then when she thought
it over later, she would not be sure whether he had saluted her or merely
rubbed his forehead. And there was the added benefit that any third person who
might chance to look from a window, or from a passing carriage, would not think
that he was receiving a snub, because he did not intend to lift his hat, but,
timing the gesture properly, would in fact actually rub his forehead. These
were the hasty plans which occupied his thoughts until he was within about
fifty feet of her--when he ceased to have either plans or thoughts. He had kept
his eyes from looking full at her until then, and as he saw her, thus close at
hand, and coming nearer, a regret that was dumfounding took possession of him.
For the first time he had the sense of having lost something of overwhelming
importance.
Lucy
did not keep to the right, but came straight to meet him, smiling, and with her
hand offered to him.
"Why--you--"
he stammered, as he took it. "Haven't you--" What he meant to say
was, "Haven't you heard?"
"Haven't
I what?" she asked; and he saw that Eugene had not yet told her.
"Nothing!"
he gasped. "May I--may I turn and walk with you a little way?"
"Yes,
indeed!" she said cordially.
He
would not have altered what had been done: he was satisfied with all
that--satisfied that it was right, and that his own course was right. But he
began to perceive a striking inaccuracy in some remarks he had made to his
mother. Now when he had put matters in such shape that even by the
relinquishment of his "ideals of life" he could not have Lucy, knew
that he could never have her, and knew that when Eugene told her the history of
yesterday he could not have a glance or word even friendly from her--now when
he must in good truth "give up all idea of Lucy," he was amazed that
he could have used such words as "no particular sacrifice," and
believed them when he said them! She had looked never in his life so
bewitchingly pretty as she did to-day; and as he walked beside her he was sure
that she was the most exquisite thing in the world.
"Lucy,"
he said huskily, "I want to tell you something. Something that
matters."
"I
hope it's a lively something then," she said; and laughed. "Papa's
been so glum to-day he's scarcely spoken to me. Your Uncle George Amberson came
to see him an hour ago and they shut themselves up in the library, and your
uncle looked as glum as papa. I'd be glad if you'll tell me a funny story,
George."
"Well,
it may seem one to you," he said bitterly. "Just to begin with: when
you went away you didn't let me know; not even a word--not a line--"
Her
manner persisted in being inconsequent. "Why, no," she said. "I
just trotted off for some visits."
"Well,
at least you might have--"
"Why,
no," she said again briskly. "Don't you remember, George? We'd had a
grand quarrel, and didn't speak to each other all the way home from a long,
long drive! So, as we couldn't play together like good children, of course it
was plain that we oughtn't to play at all."
"'Play!'"
he cried.
"Yes.
What I mean is that we'd come to the point where it was time to quit
playing--well, what we were playing."
"At
being lovers, you mean, don't you?"
"Something
like that," she said lightly. "For us two, playing at being lovers
was just the same as playing at cross-purposes. I had all the purposes, and
that gave you all the crossness: things weren't getting along at all. It was
absurd!"
"Well,
have it your own way," he said. "It needn't have been absurd."
"No,
it couldn't help but be!" she informed him cheerfully. "The way I am and
the way you are, it couldn't ever be anything else. So what was the use?"
"I
don't know," he sighed, and his sigh was abysmal. "But what I wanted
to tell you is this: when you went away, you didn't let me know and didn't care
how or when I heard it, but I'm not like that with you. This time, I'm going
away. That's what I wanted to tell you. I'm going away to-morrow
night--indefinitely."
She
nodded sunnily. "That's nice for you. I hope you'll have ever so jolly a
time, George."
"I
don't expect to have a particularly 'jolly time.' "
"Well,
then," she laughed, "if I were you I don't think I'd go."
It
seemed impossible to impress this distracting creature, to make her serious.
"Lucy," he said desperately, "this is our last walk
together."
"Evidently!"
she said. "If you're going away to-morrow night."
"Lucy--this
may be the last time I'll see you--ever--ever in my life."
At
that she looked at him quickly, across her shoulder, but she smiled as brightly
as before, and with the same cordial inconsequence: "Oh, I can hardly
think that!" she said. "And of course I'd be awfully sorry to think
it. You're not moving away, are you, to live?"
"No."
"And
even if you were, of course you'd be coming back to visit your relatives every
now and then."
"I
don't know when I'm coming back. Mother and I are starting to-morrow night for
a trip around the world."
At
this she did look thoughtful. "Your mother is going with you?"
"Good
heavens!" he groaned. "Lucy, doesn't it make any difference to you
that I am going?"
At
this her cordial smile instantly appeared again. "Yes, of course,"
she said. "I'm sure I'll miss you ever so much. Are you to be gone
long?"
He
stared at her wanly. "I told you indefinitely," he said. "We've
made no plans--at all--for coming back."
"That
does sound like a long trip!" she exclaimed admiringly. "Do you plan
to be travelling all the time, or will you stay in some one place the greater
part of it? I think it would be lovely to--"
"Lucy!"
He
halted; and she stopped with him. They had come to a corner at the edge of the
"business section" of the city, and people were everywhere about
them, brushing against them, sometimes, in passing.
"I
can't stand this," George said, in a low voice. "I'm just about ready
to go in this drug-store here, and ask the clerk for something to keep me from
dying in my tracks! It's quite a shock, you see, Lucy!"
"What
is?"
"To
find out certainly, at last, how deeply you've cared for me! To see how much
difference this makes to you! By Jove, I have mattered to you!"
Her
cordial smile was tempered now with good-nature. "George!" She
laughed indulgently. "Surely you don't want me to do pathos on a downtown
corner!"
"You
wouldn't 'do pathos' anywhere!"
"Well--don't
you think pathos is generally rather foozling?"
"I
can't stand this any longer," he said. "I can't! Good-bye,
Lucy!" He took her hand. "It's good-bye--I think it's good-bye for
good, Lucy!"
"Good-bye!
I do hope you'll have the most splendid trip." She gave his hand a cordial
little grip, then released it lightly. "Give my love to your mother.
Good-bye!"
He
turned heavily away, and a moment later glanced back over his shoulder. She had
not gone on, but stood watching him, that same casual, cordial smile on her
face to the very last; and now, as he looked back, she emphasized her friendly
unconcern by waving her small hand to him cheerily, though perhaps with the
slightest hint of preoccupation, as if she had begun to think of the errand
that brought her downtown.
In
his mind, George had already explained her to his own poignant
dissatisfaction--some blond pup, probably, whom she had met during that
"perfectly gorgeous time!" And he strode savagely onward, not looking
back again.
But
Lucy remained where she was until he was out of sight. Then she went slowly
into the drugstore which had struck George as a possible source of stimulant
for himself.
"Please
let me have a few drops of aromatic spirits of ammonia in a glass of
water," she said, with the utmost composure.
"Yes,
ma'am!" said the impressionable clerk, who had been looking at her through
the display window as she stood on the corner.
But
a moment later, as he turned from the shelves of glass jars against the wall,
with the potion she had asked for in his hand, he uttered an exclamation:
"For goshes' sake, Miss!" And, describing this adventure to his
fellow-boarders, that evening, "Sagged pretty near to the counter, she
was," he said. "'F I hadn't been a bright, quick, ready-for-anything
young fella she'd 'a' flummixed plum! I was watchin' her out the
window--talkin' to some young s'iety fella, and she was all right then. She was
all right when she come in the store, too. Yes, sir; the prettiest girl that
ever walked in our place and took one good look at me. I reckon it must be the
truth what some you town wags say about my face!"
|