"Let
us sit down," said Sara, "and I will tell you. It's so easy that when
you begin you can't stop. You just go on and on doing it always. And it's
beautiful. Emily, you must listen. This is Ermengarde
St. John, Emily. Ermengarde, this is Emily. Would you
like to hold her?"
"Oh,
may I?" said Ermengarde. "May I, really?
She is beautiful!" And Emily was put into her arms.
Never
in her dull, short life had Miss St. John dreamed of such an hour as the one
she spent with the queer new pupil before they heard the lunch-bell ring and
were obliged to go downstairs.
Sara
sat upon the hearth-rug and told her strange things. She sat rather huddled up,
and her green eyes shone and her cheeks flushed. She told stories of the
voyage, and stories of India; but what fascinated Ermengarde
the most was her fancy about the dolls who walked and talked, and who could do
anything they chose when the human beings were out of the room, but who must
keep their powers a secret and so flew back to their places "like
lightning" when people returned to the room.
"We
couldn't do it," said Sara, seriously. "You see, it's a kind of
magic."
Once,
when she was relating the story of the search for Emily, Ermengarde
saw her face suddenly change. A cloud seemed to pass over it and put out the
light in her shining eyes. She drew her breath in so sharply that it made a
funny, sad little sound, and then she shut her lips and held them tightly
closed, as if she was determined either to do or not to do something. Ermengarde had an idea that if she had been like any other
little girl, she might have suddenly burst out sobbing and crying. But she did
not.
"Have
you a--a pain?" Ermengarde ventured.
"Yes,"
Sara answered, after a moment's silence. "But it is not in my body."
Then she added something in a low voice which she tried to keep quite steady,
and it was this: "Do you love your father more than anything else in all the whole world?"
Ermengarde's mouth fell open a little. She knew that it
would be far from behaving like a respectable child at a select seminary to say
that it had never occurred to you that you could love your father,
that you would do anything desperate to avoid being left alone in his
society for ten minutes. She was, indeed, greatly embarrassed.
"I--I
scarcely ever see him," she stammered. "He is always in the
library--reading things."
"I
love mine more than all the world ten times
over," Sara said. "That is what my pain is. He has gone away."
She
put her head quietly down on her little, huddled-up knees, and sat very still
for a few minutes.
"She's
going to cry out loud," thought Ermengarde,
fearfully.
But
she did not. Her short, black locks tumbled about her ears, and she sat still.
Then she spoke without lifting her head.
"I
promised him I would bear it," she said. "And I will. You have to
bear things. Think what soldiers bear! Papa is a soldier. If there was a war he
would have to bear marching and thirstiness and, perhaps, deep wounds. And he
would never say a word--not one word."
Ermengarde could only gaze at her, but she felt that she
was beginning to adore her. She was so wonderful and different from anyone
else.
Presently,
she lifted her face and shook back her black locks, with a queer little smile.
"If
I go on talking and talking," she said, "and telling you things about
pretending, I shall bear it better. You don't forget, but you bear it
better." Ermengarde did not know why a lump came
into her throat and her eyes felt as if tears were in them.
"Lavinia and Jessie are 'best friends,'" she said
rather huskily. "I wish we could be 'best friends.' Would you have me for
yours? You're clever, and I'm the stupidest child in the school, but I--oh, I
do so like you!"
"I'm
glad of that," said Sara. "It makes you thankful when you are liked.
Yes. We will be friends. And I'll tell you what"--a sudden gleam lighting
her face--"I can help you with your French lessons."
Lottie
If
Sara had been a different kind of child, the life she led at Miss Minchin's
Select Seminary for the next few years would not have been at all good for her.
She was treated more as if she were a distinguished guest at the establishment
than as if she were a mere little girl. If she had been a self-opinionated,
domineering child, she might have become disagreeable enough to be unbearable
through being so much indulged and flattered. If she had been an indolent
child, she would have learned nothing. Privately Miss Minchin disliked her, but
she was far too worldly a woman to do or say anything which might make such a
desirable pupil wish to leave her school. She knew quite well that if Sara
wrote to her papa to tell him she was uncomfortable or unhappy, Captain Crewe
would remove her at once. Miss Minchin's opinion was that if a child were
continually praised and never forbidden to do what she liked, she would be sure
to be fond of the place where she was so treated. Accordingly, Sara was praised
for her quickness at her lessons, for her good manners, for her amiability to
her fellow pupils, for her generosity if she gave sixpence to a beggar out of
her full little purse; the simplest thing she did was treated as if it were a
virtue, and if she had not had a disposition and a clever little brain, she
might have been a very self-satisfied young person. But the clever little brain
told her a great many sensible and true things about herself and her
circumstances, and now and then she talked these things over to Ermengarde as time went on.
"Things
happen to people by accident," she used to say. "A lot of nice
accidents have happened to me. It just happened that I always liked lessons and
books, and could remember things when I learned them. It just happened that I
was born with a father who was beautiful and nice and clever, and could give me
everything I liked. Perhaps I have not really a good temper at all, but if you
have everything you want and everyone is kind to you, how can you help but be
good-tempered? I don't know"--looking quite serious--"how I shall
ever find out whether I am really a nice child or a horrid one. Perhaps I'm a
hideous child, and no one will ever know, just because I never have any trials."
"Lavinia has no trials," said Ermengarde,
stolidly, "and she is horrid enough."
Sara
rubbed the end of her little nose reflectively, as she thought the matter over.
"Well,"
she said at last, "perhaps--perhaps that is because Lavinia
is growing."
This
was the result of a charitable recollection of having heard Miss Amelia say
that Lavinia was growing so fast that she believed it
affected her health and temper.
Lavinia, in fact, was spiteful. She was inordinately
jealous of Sara. Until the new pupil's arrival, she had felt herself the leader
in the school. She had led because she was capable of making herself extremely
disagreeable if the others did not follow her. She domineered over the little
children, and assumed grand airs with those big enough to be her companions.
She was rather pretty, and had been the best-dressed pupil in the procession
when the Select Seminary walked out two by two, until Sara's velvet coats and
sable muffs appeared, combined with drooping ostrich feathers, and were led by
Miss Minchin at the head of the line. This, at the beginning, had been bitter
enough; but as time went on it became apparent that Sara was a leader, too, and
not because she could make herself disagreeable, but because she never did.
"There's
one thing about Sara Crewe," Jessie had enraged her "best
friend" by saying honestly, "she's never 'grand' about herself the
least bit, and you know she might be, Lavvie. I
believe I couldn't help being--just a little--if I had so many fine things and
was made such a fuss over. It's disgusting, the way
Miss Minchin shows her off when parents come."
"'Dear Sara must come into the drawing room and talk to
Mrs. Musgrave about India,'"
mimicked Lavinia, in her most highly flavored
imitation of Miss Minchin. "'Dear Sara must speak French to Lady Pitkin. Her accent is so perfect.' She didn't learn her
French at the Seminary, at any rate. And there's nothing so clever in her
knowing it. She says herself she didn't learn it at all. She just picked it up,
because she always heard her papa speak it. And, as to her papa, there is
nothing so grand in being an Indian officer." "Well," said
Jessie, slowly, "he's killed tigers. He killed the one in the skin Sara
has in her room. That's why she likes it so. She lies on it and strokes its
head, and talks to it as if it was a cat."
"She's
always doing something silly," snapped Lavinia.
"My mamma says that way of hers of pretending things is silly. She says
she will grow up eccentric."
lt was quite true that Sara was
never "grand." She was a friendly little soul, and shared her
privileges and belongings with a free hand. The little ones, who were
accustomed to being disdained and ordered out of the way by mature ladies aged
ten and twelve, were never made to cry by this most envied of them all. She was
a motherly young person, and when people fell down and scraped their knees, she
ran and helped them up and patted them, or found in her pocket a bonbon or some
other article of a soothing nature. She never pushed them out of her way or alluded
to their years as a humiliation and a blot upon their small characters.
"If
you are four you are four," she said severely to Lavinia
on an occasion of her having--it must be confessed--slapped Lottie
and called her "a brat;" "but you will be five next year, and
six the year after that. And," opening large, convicting
eyes, "it takes sixteen years to make you twenty."
|