"Yes,
'm; I will, 'm," she said, trembling; "but oh, I just wanted to arst you: Miss Sara--she's been such a rich young lady, an'
she's been waited on, 'and and foot; an' what will she do now, mum, without no
maid? If--if, oh please, would you let me wait on her after I've done my pots
an' kettles? I'd do 'em that quick--if you'd let me
wait on her now she's poor. Oh," breaking out afresh, "poor little
Miss Sara, mum--that was called a princess."
Somehow,
she made Miss Minchin feel more angry than ever. That
the very scullery maid should range herself on the side of this child--whom she
realized more fully than ever that she had never liked--was too much. She
actually stamped her foot.
"No--certainly
not," she said. "She will wait on herself, and on other people, too.
Leave the room this instant, or you'll leave your place."
Becky
threw her apron over her head and fled. She ran out of the room and down the
steps into the scullery, and there she sat down among her pots and kettles, and
wept as if her heart would break.
"It's
exactly like the ones in the stories," she wailed. "Them pore princess ones that was drove into the world."
Miss
Minchin had never looked quite so still and hard as she did when Sara came to
her, a few hours later, in response to a message she had sent her. Even by that
time it seemed to Sara as if the birthday party had either been a dream or a
thing which had happened years ago, and had happened in the life of quite another
little girl.
Every
sign of the festivities had been swept away; the holly had been removed from
the schoolroom walls, and the forms and desks put back into their places. Miss
Minchin's sitting room looked as it always did--all traces of the feast were
gone, and Miss Minchin had resumed her usual dress. The pupils had been ordered
to lay aside their party frocks; and this having been done, they had returned
to the schoolroom and huddled together in groups, whispering and talking
excitedly.
"Tell
Sara to come to my room," Miss Minchin had said to her sister. "And
explain to her clearly that I will have no crying or unpleasant scenes."
"Sister,"
replied Miss Amelia, "she is the strangest child I ever saw. She has
actually made no fuss at all. You remember she made none when Captain Crewe
went back to India.
When I told her what had happened, she just stood quite still and looked at me
without making a sound. Her eyes seemed to get bigger and bigger, and she went
quite pale. When I had finished, she still stood staring for a few seconds, and
then her chin began to shake, and she turned round and ran out of the room and
upstairs. Several of the other children began to cry, but she did not seem to
hear them or to be alive to anything but just what I was saying. It made me
feel quite queer not to be answered; and when you tell anything sudden and
strange, you expect people will say something--whatever it is."
Nobody
but Sara herself ever knew what had happened in her room after she had run
upstairs and locked her door. In fact, she herself scarcely remembered anything
but that she walked up and down, saying over and over again to herself in a voice which did not seem her own, "My papa
is dead! My papa is dead!"
Once
she stopped before Emily, who sat watching her from her chair, and cried out
wildly, "Emily! Do you hear? Do you hear--papa is dead? He is dead in
India--thousands of miles away."
When
she came into Miss Minchin's sitting room in answer to her summons, her face
was white and her eyes had dark rings around them. Her mouth was set as if she
did not wish it to reveal what she had suffered and was suffering. She did not
look in the least like the rose-colored butterfly child who had flown about
from one of her treasures to the other in the decorated schoolroom. She looked
instead a strange, desolate, almost grotesque little figure.
She
had put on, without Mariette's help, the cast-aside
black-velvet frock. It was too short and tight, and her slender legs looked
long and thin, showing themselves from beneath the brief skirt. As she had not
found a piece of black ribbon, her short, thick, black hair tumbled loosely
about her face and contrasted strongly with its pallor. She held Emily tightly
in one arm, and Emily was swathed in a piece of black material.
"Put
down your doll," said Miss Minchin. "What do you mean by bringing her
here?"
"No,"
Sara answered. "I will not put her down. She is all I have. My papa gave
her to me."
She
had always made Miss Minchin feel secretly uncomfortable, and she did so now.
She did not speak with rudeness so much as with a cold steadiness with which
Miss Minchin felt it difficult to cope--perhaps because she knew she was doing
a heartless and inhuman thing.
"You
will have no time for dolls in future," she said. "You will have to
work and improve yourself and make yourself useful."
Sara
kept her big, strange eyes fixed on her, and said not
a word.
"Everything
will be very different now," Miss Minchin went on. "I suppose Miss
Amelia has explained matters to you."
"Yes,"
answered Sara. "My papa is dead. He left me no money. I am quite
poor."
"You
are a beggar," said Miss Minchin, her temper rising at the recollection of
what all this meant. "It appears that you have no relations and no home,
and no one to take care of you."
For
a moment the thin, pale little face twitched, but Sara again said nothing.
"What
are you staring at?" demanded Miss Minchin, sharply. "Are you so
stupid that you cannot understand? I tell you that you are quite alone in the
world, and have no one to do anything for you, unless I choose to keep you here
out of charity."
"I
understand," answered Sara, in a low tone; and there was a sound as if she
had gulped down something which rose in her throat. "I understand."
"That
doll," cried Miss Minchin, pointing to the splendid birthday gift seated near--"that ridiculous doll, with all her nonsensical,
extravagant things--I actually paid the bill for her!"
Sara
turned her head toward the chair.
"The
Last Doll," she said. "The Last Doll."
And her little mournful voice had an odd sound.
"The
Last Doll, indeed!" said Miss Minchin. "And she is mine, not yours.
Everything you own is mine."
"Please
take it away from me, then," said Sara. "I do not want it." If
she had cried and sobbed and seemed frightened, Miss Minchin might almost have
had more patience with her. She was a woman who liked to domineer and feel her
power, and as she looked at Sara's pale little steadfast face and heard her
proud little voice, she quite felt as if her might was being set at naught.
"Don't
put on grand airs," she said. "The time for that sort of thing is
past. You are not a princess any longer. Your carriage and your pony will be
sent away--your maid will be dismissed. You will wear your oldest and plainest
clothes--your extravagant ones are no longer suited to your station. You are
like Becky--you must work for your living."
To
her surprise, a faint gleam of light came into the child's eyes--a shade of
relief.
"Can
I work?" she said. "If I can work it will not matter so much. What
can I do?"
"You
can do anything you are told," was the answer. "You are a sharp
child, and pick up things readily. If you make yourself useful I may let you
stay here. You speak French well, and you can help with the younger
children."
"May
I?" exclaimed Sara. "Oh, please let me! I know I can teach them. I
like them, and they like me."
"Don't
talk nonsense about people liking you," said Miss Minchin. "You will
have to do more than teach the little ones. You will run errands and help in
the kitchen as well as in the schoolroom. If you don't please me, you will be
sent away. Remember that. Now go."
Sara
stood still just a moment, looking at her. In her young soul, she was thinking
deep and strange things. Then she turned to leave the room.
"Stop!"
said Miss Minchin. "Don't you intend to thank me?"
Sara
paused, and all the deep, strange thoughts surged up in her breast. "What
for?" she said.
"For
my kindness to you," replied Miss Minchin. "For my
kindness in giving you a home."
Sara
made two or three steps toward her. Her thin little chest heaved up and down,
and she spoke in a strange unchildishly fierce way.
"You
are not kind," she said. "You are not kind, and it is not a
home." And she had turned and run out of the room before Miss Minchin
could stop her or do anything but stare after her with stony anger.
She
went up the stairs slowly, but panting for breath and she held Emily tightly
against her side.
"I
wish she could talk," she said to herself. "If she could speak--if
she could speak!"
She
meant to go to her room and lie down on the tiger-skin, with her cheek upon the
great cat's head, and look into the fire and think and think and think. But
just before she reached the landing Miss Amelia came out of the door and closed
it behind her, and stood before it, looking nervous and awkward. The truth was
that she felt secretly ashamed of the thing she had been ordered to do.
"You--you
are not to go in there," she said.
"Not
go in?" exclaimed Sara, and she fell back a pace.
"That
is not your room now," Miss Amelia answered, reddening a little.
Somehow,
all at once, Sara understood. She realized that this was the beginning of the
change Miss Minchin had spoken of.
"Where
is my room?" she asked, hoping very much that her voice did not shake.
"You
are to sleep in the attic next to Becky."
Sara
knew where it was. Becky had told her about it. She turned, and mounted up two
flights of stairs. The last one was narrow, and covered with shabby strips of
old carpet. She felt as if she were walking away and leaving far behind her the
world in which that other child, who no longer seemed herself, had lived. This
child, in her short, tight old frock, climbing the stairs to the attic, was
quite a different creature.
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