"Carmichael,"
he said to the father of the Large Family, after he had heard this description,
"I wonder how many of the attics in this square are
like that one, and how many wretched little servant girls sleep on such beds,
while I toss on my down pillows, loaded and harassed by wealth that is, most of
it--not mine." "My dear fellow," Mr. Carmichael answered
cheerily, "the sooner you cease tormenting yourself the better it will be
for you. If you possessed all the wealth of all the Indies, you could not set
right all the discomforts in the world, and if you began to refurnish all the
attics in this square, there would still remain all the attics in all the other
squares and streets to put in order. And there you are!"
Mr.
Carrisford sat and bit his nails as he looked into
the glowing bed of coals in the grate.
"Do
you suppose," he said slowly, after a pause--"do you think it is
possible that the other child--the child I never cease thinking of, I
believe--could be--could possibly be reduced to any such condition as the poor
little soul next door?"
Mr.
Carmichael looked at him uneasily. He knew that the worst thing the man could
do for himself, for his reason and his health, was to begin to think in the
particular way of this particular subject.
"If
the child at Madame Pascal's school in Paris was the one you are in search
of," he answered soothingly, "she would seem to be in the hands of
people who can afford to take care of her. They adopted her because she had
been the favorite companion of their little daughter who died. They had no
other children, and Madame Pascal said that they were extremely well-to-do
Russians."
"And
the wretched woman actually did not know where they had taken her!"
exclaimed Mr. Carrisford.
Mr.
Carmichael shrugged his shoulders.
"She
was a shrewd, worldly Frenchwoman, and was evidently only too glad to get the
child so comfortably off her hands when the father's death left her totally unprovided for. Women of her type do not trouble themselves
about the futures of children who might prove burdens. The adopted parents
apparently disappeared and left no trace." "But you say 'if' the
child was the one I am in search of. You say 'if.' We are not sure. There was a
difference in the name."
"Madame
Pascal pronounced it as if it were Carew
instead of Crewe--but that might be merely a matter of pronunciation. The
circumstances were curiously similar. An English officer in India had placed
his motherless little girl at the school. He had died suddenly after losing his
fortune." Mr. Carmichael paused a moment, as if a new thought had occurred
to him. "Are you sure the child was left at a school in Paris? Are you sure
it was Paris?"
"My
dear fellow," broke forth Carrisford, with
restless bitterness, "I am sure of nothing. I never saw either the child
or her mother. Ralph Crewe and I loved each other as boys, but we had not met
since our school days, until we met in India. I was absorbed in the magnificent
promise of the mines. He became absorbed, too. The whole thing was so huge and
glittering that we half lost our heads. When we met we
scarcely spoke of anything else. I only knew that the child had been sent to
school somewhere. I do not even remember, now, how I knew it."
He
was beginning to be excited. He always became excited when his still weakened
brain was stirred by memories of the catastrophes of the past.
Mr.
Carmichael watched him anxiously. It was necessary to ask some questions, but
they must be put quietly and with caution.
"But
you had reason to think the school was in Paris?"
"Yes,"
was the answer, "because her mother was a Frenchwoman, and I had heard
that she wished her child to be educated in Paris. It
seemed only likely that she would be there."
"Yes,"
Mr. Carmichael said, "it seems more than probable." The Indian
gentleman leaned forward and struck the table with a long, wasted hand.
"Carmichael,"
he said, "I must find her. If she is alive, she is somewhere. If she is
friendless and penniless, it is through my fault. How is a man to get back his
nerve with a thing like that on his mind? This sudden change of luck at the
mines has made realities of all our most fantastic dreams, and poor Crewe's
child may be begging in the street!"
"No,
no," said Carmichael. "Try to be calm. Console yourself with the fact
that when she is found you have a fortune to hand over to her."
"Why
was I not man enough to stand my ground when things looked black?" Carrisford groaned in petulant misery. "I believe I
should have stood my ground if I had not been responsible for other people's
money as well as my own. Poor Crewe had put into the scheme every penny that he
owned. He trusted me--he loved me. And he died thinking I had ruined
him--I--Tom Carrisford, who played cricket at Eton
with him. What a villain he must have thought me!"
"Don't
reproach yourself so bitterly."
"I
don't reproach myself because the speculation threatened to fail--I reproach
myself for losing my courage. I ran away like a swindler and a thief, because I
could not face my best friend and tell him I had ruined him and his
child."
The
good-hearted father of the Large Family put his hand on his shoulder
comfortingly.
"You
ran away because your brain had given way under the strain of mental
torture," he said. "You were half delirious already. If you had not
been you would have stayed and fought it out. You were in a hospital, strapped
down in bed, raving with brain fever, two days after you left the place. Remember
that."
Carrisford dropped his forehead in his hands. "Good
God! Yes," he said. "I was driven mad with dread and horror. I had
not slept for weeks. The night I staggered out of my house all the air seemed
full of hideous things mocking and mouthing at me."
"That
is explanation enough in itself," said Mr. Carmichael. "How could a
man on the verge of brain fever judge sanely!"
Carrisford shook his drooping head.
"And
when I returned to consciousness poor Crewe was
dead--and buried. And I seemed to remember nothing. I did not remember the
child for months and months. Even when I began to recall her existence
everything seemed in a sort of haze."
He
stopped a moment and rubbed his forehead. "It sometimes seems so now when
I try to remember. Surely I must sometime have heard Crewe
speak of the school she was sent to. Don't you think so?"
"He
might not have spoken of it definitely. You never seem even to have heard her
real name."
"He
used to call her by an odd pet name he had invented. He called her his 'Little
Missus.' But the wretched mines drove everything else out of our heads. We
talked of nothing else. If he spoke of the school, I forgot--I forgot. And now
I shall never remember."
"Come,
come," said Carmichael. "We shall find her
yet. We will continue to search for Madame Pascal's good-natured Russians. She
seemed to have a vague idea that they lived in Moscow.
We will take that as a clue. I will go to Moscow."
"If
I were able to travel, I would go with you," said Carrisford;
"but I can only sit here wrapped in furs and stare at the fire. And when I
look into it I seem to see Crewe's gay young face gazing
back at me. He looks as if he were asking me a question. Sometimes I dream of
him at night, and he always stands before me and asks the same question in
words. Can you guess what he says, Carmichael?"
Mr.
Carmichael answered him in a rather low voice.
"Not
exactly," he said.
"He
always says, 'Tom, old man--Tom--where is the Little Missus?'" He caught
at Carmichael's hand and clung to it. "I must be
able to answer him--I must!" he said. "Help me to find her. Help
me."
On
the other side of the wall Sara was sitting in her garret talking to Melchisedec, who had come out for his evening meal.
"It
has been hard to be a princess today, Melchisedec,"
she said. "It has been harder than usual. It gets harder as the weather
grows colder and the streets get more sloppy. When Lavinia laughed at my muddy skirt as I passed her in the
hall, I thought of something to say all in a flash--and I only just stopped
myself in time. You can't sneer back at people like that--if you are a
princess. But you have to bite your tongue to hold yourself in. I bit mine. It
was a cold afternoon, Melchisedec. And it's a cold
night."
Quite
suddenly she put her black head down in her arms, as she often did when she was
alone.
"Oh,
papa," she whispered, "what a long time it seems since I was your
'Little Missus'!"
This
was what happened that day on both sides of the wall.
One of the Populace
The
winter was a wretched one. There were days on which Sara tramped through snow
when she went on her errands; there were worse days when the snow melted and
combined itself with mud to form slush; there were others when the fog was so
thick that the lamps in the street were lighted all day and London looked as it
had looked the afternoon, several years ago, when the cab had driven through
the thoroughfares with Sara tucked up on its seat, leaning against her father's
shoulder. On such days the windows of the house of the Large Family always
looked delightfully cozy and alluring, and the study in which the Indian
gentleman sat glowed with warmth and rich color. But the attic was dismal
beyond words. There were no longer sunsets or sunrises to look at, and scarcely
ever any stars, it seemed to Sara. The clouds hung low over the skylight and
were either gray or mud-color, or dropping heavy rain. At four o'clock in the afternoon, even when there was no
special fog, the daylight was at an end. If it was necessary to go to her attic
for anything, Sara was obliged to light a candle. The women in the kitchen were
depressed, and that made them more illtempered than
ever. Becky was driven like a little slave.
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