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Leonela required much pressing before she would go to summon Lothario, but
at last she went, and while awaiting her return Camilla continued, as if
speaking to herself, "Good God! would it not have been more prudent to
have repulsed Lothario, as I have done many a time before, than to allow him,
as I am now doing, to think me unchaste and vile, even for the short time I
must wait until I undeceive him? No doubt it would have been better; but I
should not be avenged, nor the honour of my husband vindicated, should he find
so clear and easy an escape from the strait into which his depravity has led
him. Let the traitor pay with his life for the temerity of his wanton wishes,
and let the world know (if haply it shall ever come to know) that Camilla not
only preserved her allegiance to her husband, but avenged him of the man who
dared to wrong him. Still, I think it might be better to disclose this to
Anselmo. But then I have called his attention to it in the letter I wrote to
him in the country, and, if he did nothing to prevent the mischief I there
pointed out to him, I suppose it was that from pure goodness of heart and
trustfulness he would not and could not believe that any thought against his
honour could harbour in the breast of so stanch a friend; nor indeed did I myself
believe it for many days, nor should I have ever believed it if his insolence
had not gone so far as to make it manifest by open presents, lavish promises,
and ceaseless tears. But why do I argue thus? Does a bold determination stand
in need of arguments? Surely not. Then traitors avaunt! Vengeance to my aid!
Let the false one come, approach, advance, die, yield up his life, and then
befall what may. Pure I came to him whom Heaven bestowed upon me, pure I shall
leave him; and at the worst bathed in my own chaste blood and in the foul blood
of the falsest friend that friendship ever saw in the world;" and as she
uttered these words she paced the room holding the unsheathed dagger, with such
irregular and disordered steps, and such gestures that one would have supposed
her to have lost her senses, and taken her for some violent desperado instead
of a delicate woman.
Anselmo, hidden behind some tapestries where he had concealed himself,
beheld and was amazed at all, and already felt that what he had seen and heard
was a sufficient answer to even greater suspicions; and he would have been now
well pleased if the proof afforded by Lothario's coming were dispensed with, as
he feared some sudden mishap; but as he was on the point of showing himself and
coming forth to embrace and undeceive his wife he paused as he saw Leonela
returning, leading Lothario. Camilla when she saw him, drawing a long line in
front of her on the floor with the dagger, said to him, "Lothario, pay
attention to what I say to thee: if by any chance thou darest to cross this
line thou seest, or even approach it, the instant I see thee attempt it that
same instant will I pierce my bosom with this dagger that I hold in my hand;
and before thou answerest me a word desire thee to listen to a few from me, and
afterwards thou shalt reply as may please thee. First, I desire thee to tell
me, Lothario, if thou knowest my husband Anselmo, and in what light thou
regardest him; and secondly I desire to know if thou knowest me too. Answer me
this, without embarrassment or reflecting deeply what thou wilt answer, for
they are no riddles I put to thee."
Lothario was not so dull but that from the first moment when Camilla
directed him to make Anselmo hide himself he understood what she intended to
do, and therefore he fell in with her idea so readily and promptly that between
them they made the imposture look more true than truth; so he answered her
thus: "I did not think, fair Camilla, that thou wert calling me to ask
questions so remote from the object with which I come; but if it is to defer
the promised reward thou art doing so, thou mightst have put it off still
longer, for the longing for happiness gives the more distress the nearer comes
the hope of gaining it; but lest thou shouldst say that I do not answer thy
questions, I say that I know thy husband Anselmo, and that we have known each
other from our earliest years; I will not speak of what thou too knowest, of
our friendship, that I may not compel myself to testify against the wrong that
love, the mighty excuse for greater errors, makes me inflict upon him. Thee I
know and hold in the same estimation as he does, for were it not so I had not
for a lesser prize acted in opposition to what I owe to my station and the holy
laws of true friendship, now broken and violated by me through that powerful
enemy, love."
"If thou dost confess that," returned Camilla, "mortal enemy
of all that rightly deserves to be loved, with what face dost thou dare to come
before one whom thou knowest to be the mirror wherein he is reflected on whom
thou shouldst look to see how unworthily thou him? But, woe is me, I now
comprehend what has made thee give so little heed to what thou owest to
thyself; it must have been some freedom of mine, for I will not call it
immodesty, as it did not proceed from any deliberate intention, but from some
heedlessness such as women are guilty of through inadvertence when they think
they have no occasion for reserve. But tell me, traitor, when did I by word or
sign give a reply to thy prayers that could awaken in thee a shadow of hope of
attaining thy base wishes? When were not thy professions of love sternly and
scornfully rejected and rebuked? When were thy frequent pledges and still more
frequent gifts believed or accepted? But as I am persuaded that no one can long
persevere in the attempt to win love unsustained by some hope, I am willing to
attribute to myself the blame of thy assurance, for no doubt some
thoughtlessness of mine has all this time fostered thy hopes; and therefore
will I punish myself and inflict upon myself the penalty thy guilt deserves.
And that thou mayest see that being so relentless to myself I cannot possibly
be otherwise to thee, I have summoned thee to be a witness of the sacrifice I
mean to offer to the injured honour of my honoured husband, wronged by thee
with all the assiduity thou wert capable of, and by me too through want of
caution in avoiding every occasion, if I have given any, of encouraging and
sanctioning thy base designs. Once more I say the suspicion in my mind that
some imprudence of mine has engendered these lawless thoughts in thee, is what
causes me most distress and what I desire most to punish with my own hands, for
were any other instrument of punishment employed my error might become perhaps
more widely known; but before I do so, in my death I mean to inflict death, and
take with me one that will fully satisfy my longing for the revenge I hope for
and have; for I shall see, wheresoever it may be that I go, the penalty awarded
by inflexible, unswerving justice on him who has placed me in a position so
desperate."
As she uttered these words, with incredible energy and swiftness she flew
upon Lothario with the naked dagger, so manifestly bent on burying it in his
breast that he was almost uncertain whether these demonstrations were real or
feigned, for he was obliged to have recourse to all his skill and strength to
prevent her from striking him; and with such reality did she act this strange
farce and mystification that, to give it a colour of truth, she determined to
stain it with her own blood; for perceiving, or pretending, that she could not
wound Lothario, she said, "Fate, it seems, will not grant my just desire
complete satisfaction, but it will not be able to keep me from satisfying it
partially at least;" and making an effort to free the hand with the dagger
which Lothario held in his grasp, she released it, and directing the point to a
place where it could not inflict a deep wound, she plunged it into her left
side high up close to the shoulder, and then allowed herself to fall to the
ground as if in a faint.
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