|
"May I die," said the landlord at this, "if Don Quixote or
Don Devil has not been slashing some of the skins of red wine that stand full
at his bed's head, and the spilt wine must be what this good fellow takes for
blood;" and so saying he went into the room and the rest after him, and
there they found Don Quixote in the strangest costume in the world. He was in
his shirt, which was not long enough in front to cover his thighs completely
and was six fingers shorter behind; his legs were very long and lean, covered
with hair, and anything but clean; on his head he had a little greasy red cap
that belonged to the host, round his left arm he had rolled the blanket of the
bed, to which Sancho, for reasons best known to himself, owed a grudge, and in
his right hand he held his unsheathed sword, with which he was slashing about
on all sides, uttering exclamations as if he were actually fighting some giant:
and the best of it was his eyes were not open, for he was fast asleep, and
dreaming that he was doing battle with the giant. For his imagination was so
wrought upon by the adventure he was going to accomplish, that it made him
dream he had already reached the kingdom of Micomicon, and was engaged in
combat with his enemy; and believing he was laying on the giant, he had given
so many sword cuts to the skins that the whole room was full of wine. On seeing
this the landlord was so enraged that he fell on Don Quixote, and with his clenched
fist began to pummel him in such a way, that if Cardenio and the curate had not
dragged him off, he would have brought the war of the giant to an end. But in
spite of all the poor gentleman never woke until the barber brought a great pot
of cold water from the well and flung it with one dash all over his body, on
which Don Quixote woke up, but not so completely as to understand what was the
matter. Dorothea, seeing how short and slight his attire was, would not go in
to witness the battle between her champion and her opponent. As for Sancho, he
went searching all over the floor for the head of the giant, and not finding it
he said, "I see now that it's all enchantment in this house; for the last
time, on this very spot where I am now, I got ever so many thumps without
knowing who gave them to me, or being able to see anybody; and now this head is
not to be seen anywhere about, though I saw it cut off with my own eyes and the
blood running from the body as if from a fountain."
"What blood and fountains are you talking about, enemy of God and his
saints?" said the landlord. "Don't you see, you thief, that the blood
and the fountain are only these skins here that have been stabbed and the red
wine swimming all over the room?- and I wish I saw the soul of him that stabbed
them swimming in hell."
"I know nothing about that," said Sancho; "all I know is it
will be my bad luck that through not finding this head my county will melt away
like salt in water;"- for Sancho awake was worse than his master asleep, so
much had his master's promises addled his wits.
The landlord was beside himself at the coolness of the squire and the
mischievous doings of the master, and swore it should not be like the last time
when they went without paying; and that their privileges of chivalry should not
hold good this time to let one or other of them off without paying, even to the
cost of the plugs that would have to be put to the damaged wine-skins. The
curate was holding Don Quixote's hands, who, fancying he had now ended the adventure
and was in the presence of the Princess Micomicona, knelt before the curate and
said, "Exalted and beauteous lady, your highness may live from this day
forth fearless of any harm this base being could do you; and I too from this
day forth am released from the promise I gave you, since by the help of God on
high and by the favour of her by whom I live and breathe, I have fulfilled it
so successfully."
"Did not I say so?" said Sancho on hearing this. "You see I
wasn't drunk; there you see my master has already salted the giant; there's no
doubt about the bulls; my county is all right!"
Who could have helped laughing at the absurdities of the pair, master and
man? And laugh they did, all except the landlord, who cursed himself; but at
length the barber, Cardenio, and the curate contrived with no small trouble to
get Don Quixote on the bed, and he fell asleep with every appearance of
excessive weariness. They left him to sleep, and came out to the gate of the
inn to console Sancho Panza on not having found the head of the giant; but much
more work had they to appease the landlord, who was furious at the sudden death
of his wine-skins; and said the landlady half scolding, half crying, "At
an evil moment and in an unlucky hour he came into my house, this knight-errant-
would that I had never set eyes on him, for dear he has cost me; the last time
he went off with the overnight score against him for supper, bed, straw, and
barley, for himself and his squire and a hack and an ass, saying he was a
knight adventurer- God send unlucky adventures to him and all the adventurers
in the world- and therefore not bound to pay anything, for it was so settled by
the knight-errantry tariff: and then, all because of him, came the other
gentleman and carried off my tail, and gives it back more than two cuartillos
the worse, all stripped of its hair, so that it is no use for my husband's
purpose; and then, for a finishing touch to all, to burst my wine-skins and
spill my wine! I wish I saw his own blood spilt! But let him not deceive
himself, for, by the bones of my father and the shade of my mother, they shall
pay me down every quarts; or my name is not what it is, and I am not my
father's daughter." All this and more to the same effect the landlady
delivered with great irritation, and her good maid Maritornes backed her up,
while the daughter held her peace and smiled from time to time. The curate
smoothed matters by promising to make good all losses to the best of his power,
not only as regarded the wine-skins but also the wine, and above all the
depreciation of the tail which they set such store by. Dorothea comforted
Sancho, telling him that she pledged herself, as soon as it should appear
certain that his master had decapitated the giant, and she found herself
peacefully established in her kingdom, to bestow upon him the best county there
was in it. With this Sancho consoled himself, and assured the princess she
might rely upon it that he had seen the head of the giant, and more by token it
had a beard that reached to the girdle, and that if it was not to be seen now
it was because everything that happened in that house went by enchantment, as
he himself had proved the last time he had lodged there. Dorothea said she
fully believed it, and that he need not be uneasy, for all would go well and
turn out as he wished. All therefore being appeased, the curate was anxious to
go on with the novel, as he saw there was but little more left to read.
Dorothea and the others begged him to finish it, and he, as he was willing to
please them, and enjoyed reading it himself, continued the tale in these words:
The result was, that from the confidence Anselmo felt in Camilla's virtue,
he lived happy and free from anxiety, and Camilla purposely looked coldly on
Lothario, that Anselmo might suppose her feelings towards him to be the
opposite of what they were; and the better to support the position, Lothario
begged to be excused from coming to the house, as the displeasure with which
Camilla regarded his presence was plain to be seen. But the befooled Anselmo
said he would on no account allow such a thing, and so in a thousand ways he
became the author of his own dishonour, while he believed he was insuring his
happiness. Meanwhile the satisfaction with which Leonela saw herself empowered
to carry on her amour reached such a height that, regardless of everything
else, she followed her inclinations unrestrainedly, feeling confident that her
mistress would screen her, and even show her how to manage it safely. At last
one night Anselmo heard footsteps in Leonela's room, and on trying to enter to
see who it was, he found that the door was held against him, which made him all
the more determined to open it; and exerting his strength he forced it open,
and entered the room in time to see a man leaping through the window into the
street. He ran quickly to seize him or discover who he was, but he was unable
to effect either purpose, for Leonela flung her arms round him crying, "Be
calm, senor; do not give way to passion or follow him who has escaped from
this; he belongs to me, and in fact he is my husband."
|