While
he watched her he was aware that Lefferts and Chivers, on reaching the farther
side of the street corner, had discreetly struck away across Fifth Avenue. It
was the kind of masculine solidarity that he himself often practised; now he
sickened at their connivance. Did she really imagine that he and she could live
like this? And if not, what else did she imagine?
"Tomorrow
I must see you--somewhere where we can be alone," he said, in a voice that
sounded almost angry to his own ears.
She
wavered, and moved toward the carriage.
"But
I shall be at Granny's--for the present that is," she added, as if
conscious that her change of plans required some explanation.
"Somewhere
where we can be alone," he insisted.
She
gave a faint laugh that grated on him.
"In
New York? But there are no churches . . . no monuments."
"There's
the Art Museum--in the Park," he explained, as she looked puzzled.
"At half-past two. I shall be at the door . . ."
She
turned away without answering and got quickly into the carriage. As it drove
off she leaned forward, and he thought she waved her hand in the obscurity. He
stared after her in a turmoil of contradictory feelings. It seemed to him that
he had been speaking not to the woman he loved but to another, a woman he was
indebted to for pleasures already wearied of: it was hateful to find himself
the prisoner of this hackneyed vocabulary.
"She'll
come!" he said to himself, almost contemptuously.
Avoiding
the popular "Wolfe collection," whose anecdotic canvases filled one
of the main galleries of the queer wilderness of cast-iron and encaustic tiles
known as the Metropolitan Museum, they had wandered down a passage to the room
where the "Cesnola antiquities" mouldered in unvisited loneliness.
They
had this melancholy retreat to themselves, and seated on the divan enclosing
the central steam-radiator, they were staring silently at the glass cabinets
mounted in ebonised wood which contained the recovered fragments of Ilium.
"It's
odd," Madame Olenska said, "I never came here before."
"Ah,
well--. Some day, I suppose, it will be a great Museum."
"Yes,"
she assented absently.
She
stood up and wandered across the room. Archer, remaining seated, watched the
light movements of her figure, so girlish even under its heavy furs, the
cleverly planted heron wing in her fur cap, and the way a dark curl lay like a
flattened vine spiral on each cheek above the ear. His mind, as always when
they first met, was wholly absorbed in the delicious details that made her
herself and no other. Presently he rose and approached the case before which
she stood. Its glass shelves were crowded with small broken objects--hardly
recognisable domestic utensils, ornaments and personal trifles--made of glass,
of clay, of discoloured bronze and other timeblurred substances.
"It
seems cruel," she said, "that after a while nothing matters . . . any
more than these little things, that used to be necessary and important to
forgotten people, and now have to be guessed at under a magnifying glass and
labelled: `Use unknown.'"
"Yes;
but meanwhile--"
"Ah,
meanwhile--"
As
she stood there, in her long sealskin coat, her hands thrust in a small round
muff, her veil drawn down like a transparent mask to the tip of her nose, and
the bunch of violets he had brought her stirring with her quickly-taken breath,
it seemed incredible that this pure harmony of line and colour should ever
suffer the stupid law of change.
"Meanwhile
everything matters--that concerns you," he said.
She
looked at him thoughtfully, and turned back to the divan. He sat down beside
her and waited; but suddenly he heard a step echoing far off down the empty
rooms, and felt the pressure of the minutes.
"What
is it you wanted to tell me?" she asked, as if she had received the same
warning.
"What
I wanted to tell you?" he rejoined. "Why, that I believe you came to
New York because you were afraid."
"Afraid?"
"Of
my coming to Washington."
She
looked down at her muff, and he saw her hands stir in it uneasily.
"Well--?"
"Well--yes,"
she said.
"You
WERE afraid? You knew--?"
"Yes:
I knew . . ."
"Well,
then?" he insisted.
"Well,
then: this is better, isn't it?" she returned with a long questioning
sigh.
"Better--?"
"We
shall hurt others less. Isn't it, after all, what you always wanted?"
"To
have you here, you mean--in reach and yet out of reach? To meet you in this
way, on the sly? It's the very reverse of what I want. I told you the other day
what I wanted."
She
hesitated. "And you still think this--worse?"
"A
thousand times!" He paused. "It would be easy to lie to you; but the
truth is I think it detestable."
"Oh,
so do I!" she cried with a deep breath of relief.
He
sprang up impatiently. "Well, then--it's my turn to ask: what is it, in
God's name, that you think better?"
She
hung her head and continued to clasp and unclasp her hands in her muff. The
step drew nearer, and a guardian in a braided cap walked listlessly through the
room like a ghost stalking through a necropolis. They fixed their eyes
simultaneously on the case opposite them, and when the official figure had
vanished down a vista of mummies and sarcophagi Archer spoke again.
"What
do you think better?"
Instead
of answering she murmured: "I promised Granny to stay with her because it
seemed to me that here I should be safer."
"From
me?"
She
bent her head slightly, without looking at him.
"Safer
from loving me?"
Her
profile did not stir, but he saw a tear overflow on her lashes and hang in a
mesh of her veil.
"Safer
from doing irreparable harm. Don't let us be like all the others!" she
protested.
"What
others? I don't profess to be different from my kind. I'm consumed by the same
wants and the same longings."
She
glanced at him with a kind of terror, and he saw a faint colour steal into her
cheeks.
"Shall
I--once come to you; and then go home?" she suddenly hazarded in a low
clear voice.
The
blood rushed to the young man's forehead. "Dearest!" he said, without
moving. It seemed as if he held his heart in his hands, like a full cup that
the least motion might overbrim.
Then
her last phrase struck his ear and his face clouded. "Go home? What do you
mean by going home?"
"Home
to my husband."
"And
you expect me to say yes to that?"
She
raised her troubled eyes to his. "What else is there? I can't stay here
and lie to the people who've been good to me."
"But
that's the very reason why I ask you to come away!"
"And
destroy their lives, when they've helped me to remake mine?"
Archer
sprang to his feet and stood looking down on her in inarticulate despair. It
would have been easy to say: "Yes, come; come once." He knew the
power she would put in his hands if she consented; there would be no difficulty
then in persuading her not to go back to her husband.
But
something silenced the word on his lips. A sort of passionate honesty in her
made it inconceivable that he should try to draw her into that familiar trap.
"If I were to let her come," he said to himself, "I should have
to let her go again." And that was not to be imagined.
But
he saw the shadow of the lashes on her wet cheek, and wavered.
"After
all," he began again, "we have lives of our own. . . . There's no use
attempting the impossible. You're so unprejudiced about some things, so used,
as you say, to looking at the Gorgon, that I don't know why you're afraid to
face our case, and see it as it really is--unless you think the sacrifice is
not worth making."
She
stood up also, her lips tightening under a rapid frown.
"Call
it that, then--I must go," she said, drawing her little watch from her
bosom.
She
turned away, and he followed and caught her by the wrist. "Well, then:
come to me once," he said, his head turning suddenly at the thought of
losing her; and for a second or two they looked at each other almost like
enemies.
"When?"
he insisted. "Tomorrow?"
She
hesitated. "The day after."
"Dearest--!"
he said again.
She
had disengaged her wrist; but for a moment they continued to hold each other's
eyes, and he saw that her face, which had grown very pale, was flooded with a
deep inner radiance. His heart beat with awe: he felt that he had never before
beheld love visible.
"Oh,
I shall be late--good-bye. No, don't come any farther than this," she
cried, walking hurriedly away down the long room, as if the reflected radiance
in his eyes had frightened her. When she reached the door she turned for a
moment to wave a quick farewell.
Archer
walked home alone. Darkness was falling when he let himself into his house, and
he looked about at the familiar objects in the hall as if he viewed them from
the other side of the grave.
The
parlour-maid, hearing his step, ran up the stairs to light the gas on the upper
landing.
"Is
Mrs. Archer in?"
"No,
sir; Mrs. Archer went out in the carriage after luncheon, and hasn't come
back."
With
a sense of relief he entered the library and flung himself down in his
armchair. The parlour-maid followed, bringing the student lamp and shaking some
coals onto the dying fire. When she left he continued to sit motionless, his
elbows on his knees, his chin on his clasped hands, his eyes fixed on the red
grate.
He
sat there without conscious thoughts, without sense of the lapse of time, in a
deep and grave amazement that seemed to suspend life rather than quicken it.
"This was what had to be, then . . . this was what had to be," he
kept repeating to himself, as if he hung in the clutch of doom. What he had
dreamed of had been so different that there was a mortal chill in his rapture.
The
door opened and May came in.
"I'm
dreadfully late--you weren't worried, were you?" she asked, laying her
hand on his shoulder with one of her rare caresses.
He
looked up astonished. "Is it late?"
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