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With that they gave another halloo, and smashed every pane in the window.
The robbers were frightened out of their lives. They blew out the candles,
threw down the table, and skelped out at the back door as if they were in
earnest, and never drew rein till they were in the very heart of the wood.
Jack and his party got into the room, closed the shutters, lighted the
candles, and ate and drank till hunger and thirst were gone. Then they lay down
to rest ; - Jack in the bed, the ass in the stable, the dog on the door-mat,
the cat by the fire, and the cock on the perch.
At first the robbers were very glad to find themselves safe in the thick
wood, but they soon began to get vexed.
"This damp grass is very different from our warm room," says one.
"I was obliged to drop a fine pig's foot," says another.
"I didn't get a tayspoonful of my last tumbler," says another.
"And all the Lord of Dunlavin's gold and silver that we left behind !
" says the last.
"I think I'll venture back," says the captain, " and see if
we can recover anything."
"That's a good boy !" said they all, and away he went.
The lights were all out, and so he groped his way to the fire, and there the
cat flew in his face, and tore him with teeth and claws. He let a roar out of
him, and made for the room door, to look for a candle inside. He trod on the
dog's tail, and if he did, he got the marks of his teeth in his arms, and legs,
and thighs.
"Thousand murders ! " cried he ; "I wish I was out of this
unlucky house."
When he got to the street door, the cock dropped down upon him with his
claws and bill, and what the cat and dog done to him was only a flay-bite to
what he got from the cock.
"Oh, tattheration to you all, you unfeeling vagabones!" says he,
when he recovered his breath; and he staggered and spun round and round till he
reeled into the stable, back foremost, but the ass received him with a kick on
the broadest part of his small clothes, and laid him comfortably on the dunghill.
When he came to himself, he scratched his head, and began to think what
happened him; and as soon as he found that his legs were able to carry him, he
crawled away, dragging one foot after another, till he reached the wood.
"Well, well," cried them all, when he came within hearing,
"any chance of our property?"
" You may say chance," says he, "and it's itself is the poor
chance all out. Ah, will any of you pull a bed of dry grass for me? All the
sticking-plaster in Enniscorthy will be too little for the cuts and bruises I
have on me. Ah, if you only knew what I have gone through for you! When I got
to the kitchen fire, looking for a sod of lighted turf, what should be there
but an old woman carding flax, and you may see the marks she left on my face with
the cards. I made to the room door as fast as I could, and who should I stumble
over but a cobbler and his seat, and if he did not work at me with his awls and
his pinchers you may call me a rogue. Well, I got away from him somehow, but
when I was passing through the door, it must be the divel himself that pounced
down on me with his claws, and his teeth, that were equal to sixpenny nails,
and his wings-ill luck be in his road! Well, at last I reached the stable, and
there, by way of salute, I got a pelt from a sledge-hammer that sent me half a
mile off. If you don't believe me, I'll give you leave to go and judge for
yourselves."
"Oh, my poor captain," says they, "we believe you to the
nines. Catch us, indeed, going within a hen's race of that unlucky cabin
!"
Well, before the sun shook his doublet next morning, Jack and his comrades
were up and about. They made a hearty breakfast on what was left the night
before, and then they all agreed to set off to the castle of the Lord of
Dunlavin, and give him back all his gold and silver. Jack put it all in the two
ends of a sack and laid it across Neddy's back, and all took the road in their
hands. Away they went, through bogs, up hills, down dales, and sometimes along
the yellow high road, till they came to the hall-door of the Lord of Dunlavin,
and who should be there, airing his powdered head, his white stockings, and his
red breeches, but the thief of a porter.
He gave a cross look to the visitors, and says he to Jack, "What do you
want here, my fine fellow? there isn't room for you all."
"We want," says Jack, "what I'm sure you haven't to give us -
and that is, common civility."
"Come, be off, you lazy strollers!" says he, "while a cat 'ud
be licking her ear, or I'll let the dogs at you."
"Would you tell a body," says the cock that was perched on the
ass's head, "who was it that opened the door for the robbers the other
night?"
Ah ! maybe the porter's red face didn't turn the colour of his frill, and
the Lord of Dunlavin and his pretty daughter, that were standing at the parlour
window unknownst to the porter, put out their heads.
"I'd be glad, Barney," says the master, "to hear your answer
to the gentleman with the red comb on him."
"Ah, my lord, don't believe the rascal; sure I didn't open the door to
the six robbers."
"And how did you know there were six, you poor innocent?" said the
lord.
"Never mind, sir," says Jack, "all your gold and silver is
there in that sack, and I don't think you will begrudge us our supper and bed
after our long march from the wood of Athsalach."
"Begrudge, indeed ! Not one of you will ever see a poor day if I can
help it."
So all were welcomed to their heart's content, and the ass and the dog and
the cock got the best posts in the farmyard, and the cat took possession of the
kitchen. The lord took Jack in hands, dressed him from top to toe in
broadcloth, and frills as white as snow, and turnpumps, and put a watch in his
fob. When they sat down to dinner, the lady of the house said Jack had the air
of a born gentleman about him, and the lord said he'd make him his steward.
Jack brought his mother, and settled her comfortably near the castle, and all
were as happy as you please.
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