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He put the blankets down carefully, one folded for her head. Then he sat
down a moment on the stool, and drew her to him, holding her close with one
arm, feeling for her body with his free hand. She heard the catch of his
intaken breath as he found her. Under her frail petticoat she was naked.
`Eh! what it is to touch thee!' he said, as his finger caressed the
delicate, warm, secret skin of her waist and hips. He put his face down and
rubbed his cheek against her belly and against her thighs again and again. And
again she wondered a little over the sort of rapture it was to him. She did not
understand the beauty he found in her, through touch upon her living secret
body, almost the ecstasy of beauty. For passion alone is awake to it. And when
passion is dead, or absent, then the magnificent throb of beauty is
incomprehensible and even a little despicable; warm, live beauty of contact, so
much deeper than the beauty of vision. She felt the glide of his cheek on her
thighs and belly and buttocks, and the close brushing of his moustache and his
soft thick hair, and her knees began to quiver. Far down in her she felt a new
stirring, a new nakedness emerging. And she was half afraid. Half she wished he
would not caress her so. He was encompassing her somehow. Yet she was waiting,
waiting.
And when he came into her, with an intensification of relief and
consummation that was pure peace to him, still she was waiting. She felt
herself a little left out. And she knew, partly it was her own fault. She
willed herself into this separateness. Now perhaps she was condemned to it. She
lay still, feeling his motion within her, his deep-sunk intentness, the sudden
quiver of him at the springing of his seed, then the slow-subsiding thrust.
That thrust of the buttocks, surely it was a little ridiculous. If you were a
woman, and a part in all the business, surely that thrusting of the man's
buttocks was supremely ridiculous. Surely the man was intensely ridiculous in
this posture and this act!
But she lay still, without recoil. Even when he had finished, she did not
rouse herself to get a grip on her own satisfaction, as she had done with
Michaelis; she lay still, and the tears slowly filled and ran from her eyes.
He lay still, too. But he held her close and tried to cover her poor naked
legs with his legs, to keep them warm. He lay on her with a close, undoubting
warmth.
`Are yer cold?' he asked, in a soft, small voice, as if she were close, so
close. Whereas she was left out, distant.
`No! But I must go,' she said gently.
He sighed, held her closer, then relaxed to rest again.
He had not guessed her tears. He thought she was there with him.
`I must go,' she repeated.
He lifted himself kneeled beside her a moment, kissed the inner side of her
thighs, then drew down her skirts, buttoning his own clothes unthinking, not
even turning aside, in the faint, faint light from the lantern.
`Tha mun come ter th' cottage one time,' he said, looking down at her with a
warm, sure, easy face.
But she lay there inert, and was gazing up at him thinking: Stranger!
Stranger! She even resented him a little.
He put on his coat and looked for his hat, which had fallen, then he slung
on his gun.
`Come then!' he said, looking down at her with those warm, peaceful sort of
eyes.
She rose slowly. She didn't want to go. She also rather resented staying. He
helped her with her thin waterproof and saw she was tidy.
Then he opened the door. The outside was quite dark. The faithful dog under
the porch stood up with pleasure seeing him. The drizzle of rain drifted greyly
past upon the darkness. It was quite dark.
`Ah mun ta'e th' lantern,' he said. `The'll be nob'dy.'
He walked just before her in the narrow path, swinging the hurricane lamp
low, revealing the wet grass, the black shiny tree-roots like snakes, wan
flowers. For the rest, all was grey rain-mist and complete darkness.
`Tha mun come to the cottage one time,' he said, `shall ta? We might as well
be hung for a sheep as for a lamb.'
It puzzled her, his queer, persistent wanting her, when there was nothing
between them, when he never really spoke to her, and in spite of herself she
resented the dialect. His `tha mun come' seemed not addressed to her, but some
common woman. She recognized the foxglove leaves of the riding and knew, more
or less, where they were.
`It's quarter past seven,' he said, `you'll do it.' He had changed his
voice, seemed to feel her distance. As they turned the last bend in the riding
towards the hazel wall and the gate, he blew out the light. `We'll see from
here,' be said, taking her gently by the arm.
But it was difficult, the earth under their feet was a mystery, but he felt
his way by tread: he was used to it. At the gate he gave her his electric torch.
`It's a bit lighter in the park,' he said; `but take it for fear you get off
th' path.'
It was true, there seemed a ghost-glimmer of greyness in the open space of
the park. He suddenly drew her to him and whipped his hand under her dress
again, feeling her warm body with his wet, chill hand.
`I could die for the touch of a woman like thee,' he said in his throat. `If
tha' would stop another minute.'
She felt the sudden force of his wanting her again.
`No, I must run,' she said, a little wildly.
`Ay,' he replied, suddenly changed, letting her go.
She turned away, and on the instant she turned back to him saying: `Kiss
me.'
He bent over her indistinguishable and kissed her on the left eye. She held
her mouth and he softly kissed it, but at once drew away. He hated mouth
kisses.
`I'll come tomorrow,' she said, drawing away; `if I can,' she added.
`Ay! not so late,' he replied out of the darkness. Already she could not see
him at all.
`Goodnight,' she said.
`Goodnight, your Ladyship,' his voice.
She stopped and looked back into the wet dark. She could just see the bulk
of him. `Why did you say that?' she said.
`Nay,' he replied. `Goodnight then, run!'
She plunged on in the dark-grey tangible night. She found the side-door
open, and slipped into her room unseen. As she closed the door the gong
sounded, but she would take her bath all the same--she must take her bath. `But
I won't be late any more,' she said to herself; `it's too annoying.'
The next day she did not go to the wood. She went instead with Clifford to
Uthwaite. He could occasionally go out now in the car, and had got a strong
young man as chauffeur, who could help him out of the car if need be. He
particularly wanted to see his godfather, Leslie Winter, who lived at Shipley
Hall, not far from Uthwaite. Winter was an elderly gentleman now, wealthy, one
of the wealthy coal-owners who had had their hey-day in King Edward's time.
King Edward had stayed more than once at Shipley, for the shooting. It was a
handsome old stucco hall, very elegantly appointed, for Winter was a bachelor
and prided himself on his style; but the place was beset by collieries. Leslie
Winter was attached to Clifford, but personally did not entertain a great
respect for him, because of the photographs in illustrated papers and the
literature. The old man was a buck of the King Edward school, who thought life
was life and the scribbling fellows were something else. Towards Connie the
Squire was always rather gallant; he thought her an attractive demure maiden
and rather wasted on Clifford, and it was a thousand pities she stood no chance
of bringing forth an heir to Wragby. He himself had no heir.
Connie wondered what he would say if he knew that Clifford's game-keeper had
been having intercourse with her, and saying to her `tha mun come to th'
cottage one time.' He would detest and despise her, for he had come almost to
hate the shoving forward of the working classes. A man of her own class he
would not mind, for Connie was gifted from nature with this appearance of demure,
submissive maidenliness, and perhaps it was part of her nature. Winter called
her `dear child' and gave her a rather lovely miniature of an
eighteenth-century lady, rather against her will.
But Connie was preoccupied with her affair with the keeper. After all, Mr
Winter, who was really a gentleman and a man of the world, treated her as a
person and a discriminating individual; he did not lump her together with all
the rest of his female womanhood in his `thee' and `tha'.
She did not go to the wood that day nor the next, nor the day following. She
did not go so long as she felt, or imagined she felt, the man waiting for her,
wanting her. But the fourth day she was terribly unsettled and uneasy. She
still refused to go to the wood and open her thighs once more to the man. She
thought of all the things she might do--drive to Sheffield, pay visits, and the
thought of all these things was repellent. At last she decided to take a walk,
not towards the wood, but in the opposite direction; she would go to Marehay,
through the little iron gate in the other side of the park fence. It was a
quiet grey day of spring, almost warm. She walked on unheeding, absorbed in
thoughts she was not even conscious of She was not really aware of anything
outside her, till she was startled by the loud barking of the dog at Marehay
Farm. Marehay Farm! Its pastures ran up to Wragby park fence, so they were
neighbours, but it was some time since Connie had called.
`Bell!' she said to the big white bull-terrier. `Bell! have you forgotten
me? Don't you know me?' She was afraid of dogs, and Bell stood back and
bellowed, and she wanted to pass through the farmyard on to the warren path.
Mrs Flint appeared. She was a woman of Constance's own age, had been a
school-teacher, but Connie suspected her of being rather a false little thing.
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