She set the two cups on the table; there were only two. `Will you have a cup
of tea?' she said.
`If you like. Sugar's in th' cupboard, an' there's a little cream jug.
Milk's in a jug in th' pantry.'
`Shall I take your plate away?' she asked him. He looked up at her with a
faint ironical smile.
`Why...if you like,' he said, slowly eating bread and cheese. She went to
the back, into the pent-house scullery, where the pump was. On the left was a
door, no doubt the pantry door. She unlatched it, and almost smiled at the
place he called a pantry; a long narrow white-washed slip of a cupboard. But it
managed to contain a little barrel of beer, as well as a few dishes and bits of
food. She took a little milk from the yellow jug.
`How do you get your milk?' she asked him, when she came back to the table.
`Flints! They leave me a bottle at the warren end. You know, where I met
you!'
But he was discouraged. She poured out the tea, poising the cream-jug.
`No milk,' he said; then he seemed to hear a noise, and looked keenly
through the doorway.
`'Appen we'd better shut,' he said.
`It seems a pity,' she replied. `Nobody will come, will they?'
`Not unless it's one time in a thousand, but you never know.'
`And even then it's no matter,' she said. `It's only a cup of tea.'
`Where are the spoons?'
He reached over, and pulled open the table drawer. Connie sat at the table
in the sunshine of the doorway.
`Flossie!' he said to the dog, who was lying on a little mat at the stair
foot. `Go an' hark, hark!'
He lifted his finger, and his `hark!' was very vivid. The dog trotted out to
reconnoitre.
`Are you sad today?' she asked him.
He turned his blue eyes quickly, and gazed direct on her.
`Sad! no, bored! I had to go getting summonses for two poachers I caught,
and, oh well, I don't like people.'
He spoke cold, good English, and there was anger in his voice. `Do you hate
being a game-keeper?' she asked.
`Being a game-keeper, no! So long as I'm left alone. But when I have to go
messing around at the police-station, and various other places, and waiting for
a lot of fools to attend to me...oh well, I get mad...' and he smiled, with a
certain faint humour.
`Couldn't you be really independent?' she asked.
`Me? I suppose I could, if you mean manage to exist on my pension. I could!
But I've got to work, or I should die. That is, I've got to have something that
keeps me occupied. And I'm not in a good enough temper to work for myself. It's
got to be a sort of job for somebody else, or I should throw it up in a month,
out of bad temper. So altogether I'm very well off here, especially lately...'
He laughed at her again, with mocking humour.
`But why are you in a bad temper?' she asked. `Do you mean you are always
in a bad temper?'
`Pretty well,' he said, laughing. `I don't quite digest my bile.'
`But what bile?' she said.
`Bile!' he said. `Don't you know what that is?' She was silent, and disappointed.
He was taking no notice of her.
`I'm going away for a while next month,' she said.
`You are! Where to?'
`Venice! With Sir Clifford? For how long?'
`For a month or so,' she replied. `Clifford won't go.'
`He'll stay here?' he asked.
`Yes! He hates to travel as he is.'
`Ay, poor devil!' he said, with sympathy. There was a pause.
`You won't forget me when I'm gone, will you?' she asked. Again he lifted
his eyes and looked full at her.
`Forget?' he said. `You know nobody forgets. It's not a question of memory;'
She wanted to say: `When then?' but she didn't. Instead, she said in a mute
kind of voice: `I told Clifford I might have a child.'
Now he really looked at her, intense and searching.
`You did?' he said at last. `And what did he say?'
`Oh, he wouldn't mind. He'd be glad, really, so long as it seemed to be
his.' She dared not look up at him.
He was silent a long time, then he gazed again on her face.
`No mention of me, of course?' he said.
`No. No mention of you,' she said.
`No, he'd hardly swallow me as a substitute breeder. Then where are you
supposed to be getting the child?'
`I might have a love-affair in Venice,' she said.
`You might,' he replied slowly. `So that's why you're going?'
`Not to have the love-affair,' she said, looking up at him, pleading.
`Just the appearance of one,' he said.
There was silence. He sat staring out the window, with a faint grin, half
mockery, half bitterness, on his face. She hated his grin.
`You've not taken any precautions against having a child then?' he asked her
suddenly. `Because I haven't.'
`No,' she said faintly. `I should hate that.'
He looked at her, then again with the peculiar subtle grin out of the
window. There was a tense silence.
At last he turned his head and said satirically:
`That was why you wanted me, then, to get a child?'
She hung her head.
`No. Not really,' she said. `What then, really?' he asked rather
bitingly.
She looked up at him reproachfully, saying: `I don't know.'
He broke into a laugh.
`Then I'm damned if I do,' he said.
There was a long pause of silence, a cold silence.
`Well,' he said at last. `It's as your Ladyship likes. If you get the baby,
Sir Clifford's welcome to it. I shan't have lost anything. On the contrary,
I've had a very nice experience, very nice indeed!'--and he stretched in a
half-suppressed sort of yawn. `If you've made use of me,' he said, `it's not
the first time I've been made use of; and I don't suppose it's ever been as pleasant
as this time; though of course one can't feel tremendously dignified about
it.'--He stretched again, curiously, his muscles quivering, and his jaw oddly
set.
`But I didn't make use of you,' she said, pleading.
`At your Ladyship's service,' he replied.
`No,' she said. `I liked your body.'
`Did you?' he replied, and he laughed. `Well, then, we're quits, because I
liked yours.'
He looked at her with queer darkened eyes.
`Would you like to go upstairs now?' he asked her, in a strangled sort of
voice.
`No, not here. Not now!' she said heavily, though if he had used any power
over her, she would have gone, for she had no strength against him.
He turned his face away again, and seemed to forget her. `I want to touch
you like you touch me,' she said. `I've never really touched your body.'
He looked at her, and smiled again. `Now?' he said. `No! No! Not here! At
the hut. Would you mind?'
`How do I touch you?' he asked.
`When you feel me.'
He looked at her, and met her heavy, anxious eyes.
`And do you like it when I feel you?' he asked, laughing at her still.
`Yes, do you?' she said.
`Oh, me!' Then he changed his tone. `Yes,' he said. `You know without
asking.' Which was true.
She rose and picked up her hat. `I must go,' she said.
`Will you go?' he replied politely.
She wanted him to touch her, to say something to her, but he said nothing,
only waited politely.
`Thank you for the tea,' she said.
`I haven't thanked your Ladyship for doing me the honours of my tea-pot,' he
said.
She went down the path, and he stood in the doorway, faintly grinning.
Flossie came running with her tail lifted. And Connie had to plod dumbly across
into the wood, knowing he was standing there watching her, with that
incomprehensible grin on his face.
She walked home very much downcast and annoyed. She didn't at all like his
saying he had been made use of because, in a sense, it was true. But he
oughtn't to have said it. Therefore, again, she was divided between two
feelings: resentment against him, and a desire to make it up with him.
She passed a very uneasy and irritated tea-time, and at once went up to her
room. But when she was there it was no good; she could neither sit nor stand.
She would have to do something about it. She would have to go back to the hut;
if he was not there, well and good.
She slipped out of the side door, and took her way direct and a little
sullen. When she came to the clearing she was terribly uneasy. But there he was
again, in his shirt-sleeves, stooping, letting the hens out of the coops, among
the chicks that were now growing a little gawky, but were much more trim than
hen-chickens.
She went straight across to him. `You see I've come!' she said.
`Ay, I see it!' he said, straightening his back, and looking at her with a
faint amusement.
`Do you let the hens out now?' she asked.
`Yes, they've sat themselves to skin and bone,' he said. `An' now they're
not all that anxious to come out an' feed. There's no self in a sitting hen;
she's all in the eggs or the chicks.'
The poor mother-hens; such blind devotion! even to eggs not their own!
Connie looked at them in compassion. A helpless silence fell between the man
and the woman.
`Shall us go i' th' 'ut?' he asked.
`Do you want me?' she asked, in a sort of mistrust.
`Ay, if you want to come.'
She was silent.
`Come then!' he said.
And she went with him to the hut. It was quite dark when he had shut the
door, so he made a small light in the lantern, as before.
`Have you left your underthings off?' he asked her.
`Yes!'
`Ay, well, then I'll take my things off too.'
He spread the blankets, putting one at the side for a coverlet. She took off
her hat, and shook her hair. He sat down, taking off his shoes and gaiters, and
undoing his cord breeches.
`Lie down then!' he said, when he stood in his shirt. She obeyed in silence,
and he lay beside her, and pulled the blanket over them both.
`There!' he said.
And he lifted her dress right back, till he came even to her breasts. He
kissed them softly, taking the nipples in his lips in tiny caresses.
`Eh, but tha'rt nice, tha'rt nice!' he said, suddenly rubbing his face with
a snuggling movement against her warm belly.
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