`What do you think of this, by the way?' he said, reaching for his book.
`You'd have no need to cool your ardent body by running out in the rain, if
only we have a few more aeons of evolution behind us. Ah, here it is!--``The
universe shows us two aspects: on one side it is physically wasting, on the
other it is spiritually ascending.'''
Connie listened, expecting more. But Clifford was waiting. She looked at him
in surprise.
`And if it spiritually ascends,' she said, `what does it leave down below,
in the place where its tail used to be?'
`Ah!' he said. `Take the man for what he means. Ascending is the
opposite of his wasting, I presume.'
`Spiritually blown out, so to speak!'
`No, but seriously, without joking: do you think there is anything in it?'
She looked at him again.
`Physically wasting?' she said. `I see you getting fatter, and I'm sot
wasting myself. Do you think the sun is smaller than he used to be? He's not to
me. And I suppose the apple Adam offered Eve wasn't really much bigger, if any,
than one of our orange pippins. Do you think it was?'
`Well, hear how he goes on: ``It is thus slowly passing, with a slowness
inconceivable in our measures of time, to new creative conditions, amid which
the physical world, as we at present know it, will he represented by a ripple
barely to be distinguished from nonentity.'''
She listened with a glisten of amusement. All sorts of improper things
suggested themselves. But she only said:
`What silly hocus-pocus! As if his little conceited consciousness could know
what was happening as slowly as all that! It only means he's a physical
failure on the earth, so he wants to make the whole universe a physical
failure. Priggish little impertinence!'
`Oh, but listen! Don't interrupt the great man's solemn words!--``The
present type of order in the world has risen from an unimaginable part, and
will find its grave in an unimaginable future. There remains the inexhaustive
realm of abstract forms, and creativity with its shifting character ever
determined afresh by its own creatures, and God, upon whose wisdom all forms of
order depend.''--There, that's how he winds up!'
Connie sat listening contemptuously.
`He's spiritually blown out,' she said. `What a lot of stuff!
Unnimaginables, and types of order in graves, and realms of abstract forms, and
creativity with a shifty character, and God mixed up with forms of order! Why,
it's idiotic!'
`I must say, it is a little vaguely conglomerate, a mixture of gases, so to
speak,' said Clifford. `Still, I think there is something in the idea that the
universe is physically wasting and spiritually ascending.'
`Do you? Then let it ascend, so long as it leaves me safely and solidly
physically here below.'
`Do you like your physique?' he asked.
`I love it!' And through her mind went the words: It's the nicest, nicest
woman's arse as is!
`But that is really rather extraordinary, because there's no denying it's an
encumbrance. But then I suppose a woman doesn't take a supreme pleasure in the
life of the mind.'
`Supreme pleasure?' she said, looking up at him. `Is that sort of idiocy the
supreme pleasure of the life of the mind? No thank you! Give me the body. I
believe the life of the body is a greater reality than the life of the mind:
when the body is really wakened to life. But so many people, like your famous
wind-machine, have only got minds tacked on to their physical corpses.'
He looked at her in wonder.
`The life of the body,' he said, `is just the life of the animals.'
`And that's better than the life of professional corpses. But it's not true!
the human body is only just coming to real life. With the Greeks it gave a
lovely flicker, then Plato and Aristotle killed it, and Jesus finished it off.
But now the body is coming really to life, it is really rising from the tomb. And
It will be a lovely, lovely life in the lovely universe, the life of the human
body.'
`My dear, you speak as if you were ushering it all in! True, you am going
away on a holiday: but don't please be quite so indecently elated about it.
Believe me, whatever God there is is slowly eliminating the guts and alimentary
system from the human being, to evolve a higher, more spiritual being.'
`Why should I believe you, Clifford, when I feel that whatever God there is
has at last wakened up in my guts, as you call them, and is rippling so happily
there, like dawn. Why should I believe you, when I feel so very much the
contrary?'
`Oh, exactly! And what has caused this extraordinary change in you? running
out stark naked in the rain, and playing Bacchante? desire for sensation, or
the anticipation of going to Venice?'
`Both! Do you think it is horrid of me to be so thrilled at going off?' she
said.
`Rather horrid to show it so plainly.'
`Then I'll hide it.'
`Oh, don't trouble! You almost communicate a thrill to me. I almost feel
that it is I who am going off.'
`Well, why don't you come?'
`We've gone over all that. And as a matter of fact, I suppose your greatest
thrill comes from being able to say a temporary farewell to all this. Nothing
so thrilling, for the moment, as Good-bye-to-all!--But every parting means a
meeting elsewhere. And every meeting is a new bondage.'
`I'm not going to enter any new bondages.'
`Don't boast, while the gods are listening,' he said.
She pulled up short.
`No! I won't boast!' she said.
But she was thrilled, none the less, to be going off: to feel bonds snap.
She couldn't help it.
Clifford, who couldn't sleep, gambled all night with Mrs Bolton, till she
was too sleepy almost to live.
And the day came round for Hilda to arrive. Connie had arranged with Mellors
that if everything promised well for their night together, she would hang a
green shawl out of the window. If there were frustration, a red one.
Mrs Bolton helped Connie to pack.
`It will be so good for your Ladyship to have a change.'
`I think it will. You don't mind having Sir Clifford on your hands alone for
a time, do you?'
`Oh no! I can manage him quite all right. I mean, I can do all he needs me
to do. Don't you think he's better than he used to be?'
`Oh much! You do wonders with him.'
`Do I though! But men are all alike: just babies, and you have to flatter
them and wheedle them and let them think they're having their own way. Don't
you find it so, my Lady?'
`I'm afraid I haven't much experience.'
Connie paused in her occupation.
`Even your husband, did you have to manage him, and wheedle him like a
baby?' she asked, looking at the other woman.
Mrs Bolton paused too.
`Well!' she said. `I had to do a good bit of coaxing, with him too. But he
always knew what I was after, I must say that. But he generally gave in to me.'
`He was never the lord and master thing?'
`No! At least there'd be a look in his eyes sometimes, and then I knew I'd
got to give in. But usually he gave in to me. No, he was never lord and master.
But neither was I. I knew when I could go no further with him, and then I gave
in: though it cost me a good bit, sometimes.'
`And what if you had held out against him?'
`Oh, I don't know, I never did. Even when he was in the wrong, if he was
fixed, I gave in. You see, I never wanted to break what was between us. And if
you really set your will against a man, that finishes it. If you care for a
man, you have to give in to him once he's really determined; whether you're in
the right or not, you have to give in. Else you break something. But I must
say, Ted 'ud give in to me sometimes, when I was set on a thing, and in the
wrong. So I suppose it cuts both ways.'
`And that's how you are with all your patients?' asked Connie.
`Oh, That's different. I don't care at all, in the same way. I know what's
good for them, or I try to, and then I just contrive to manage them for their
own good. It's not like anybody as you're really fond of. It's quite different.
Once you've been really fond of a man, you can be affectionate to almost any
man, if he needs you at all. But it's not the same thing. You don't really care.
I doubt, once you've really cared, if you can ever really care again.'
These words frightened Connie.
`Do you think one can only care once?' she asked.
`Or never. Most women never care, never begin to. They don't know what it
means. Nor men either. But when I see a woman as cares, my heart stands still
for her.'
`And do you think men easily take offence?'
`Yes! If you wound them on their pride. But aren't women the same? Only our
two prides are a bit different.'
Connie pondered this. She began again to have some misgiving about her gag
away. After all, was she not giving her man the go-by, if only for a short
time? And he knew it. That's why he was so queer and sarcastic.
Still! the human existence is a good deal controlled by the machine of
external circumstance. She was in the power of this machine. She couldn't
extricate herself all in five minutes. She didn't even want to.
Hilda arrived in good time on Thursday morning, in a nimble two-seater car,
with her suit-case strapped firmly behind. She looked as demure and maidenly as
ever, but she had the same will of her own. She had the very hell of a will of
her own, as her husband had found out. But the husband was now divorcing her.
Yes, she even made it easy for him to do that, though she had no lover. For
the time being, she was `off' men. She was very well content to be quite her
own mistress: and mistress of her two children, whom she was going to bring up
`properly', whatever that may mean.
Connie was only allowed a suit-case, also. But she had sent on a trunk to
her father, who was going by train. No use taking a car to Venice. And Italy
much too hot to motor in, in July. He was going comfortably by train. He had
just come down from Scotland.
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