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`Now tell
me, Pat, what's that in the window?'
`Sure,
it's an arm, yer honour!' (He pronounced it `arrum.')
`An arm,
you goose! Who ever saw one that size? Why, it fills the whole window!'
`Sure, it
does, yer honour: but it's an arm for all that.'
`Well,
it's got no business there, at any rate: go and take it away!'
There was a
long silence after this, and Alice could only hear whispers now and then; such
as, `Sure, I don't like it, yer honour, at all, at all!' `Do as I tell you, you
coward!' and at last she spread out her hand again, and made another snatch in
the air. This time there were TWO little shrieks, and more sounds of broken
glass. `What a number of cucumber-frames there must be!' thought Alice. `I
wonder what they'll do next! As for pulling me out of the window, I only wish
they COULD! I'm sure I don't want to stay in here any longer!'
She waited
for some time without hearing anything more: at last came a rumbling of little
cartwheels, and the sound of a good many voice all talking together: she made
out the words: `Where's the other ladder?--Why, I hadn't to bring but one;
Bill's got the other--Bill! fetch it here, lad!--Here, put 'em up at this
corner--No, tie 'em together first--they don't reach half high enough yet--Oh!
they'll do well enough; don't be particular- -Here, Bill! catch hold of this
rope--Will the roof bear?--Mind that loose slate--Oh, it's coming down! Heads
below!' (a loud crash)--`Now, who did that?--It was Bill, I fancy--Who's to go
down the chimney?--Nay, I shan't! YOU do it!--That I won't, then!--Bill's to go
down--Here, Bill! the master says you're to go down the chimney!'
`Oh! So
Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?' said Alice to herself. `Shy, they
seem to put everything upon Bill! I wouldn't be in Bill's place for a good
deal: this fireplace is narrow, to be sure; but I THINK I can kick a little!'
She drew
her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and waited till she heard a
little animal (she couldn't guess of what sort it was) scratching and
scrambling about in the chimney close above her: then, saying to herself `This
is Bill,' she gave one sharp kick, and waited to see what would happen next.
The first
thing she heard was a general chorus of `There goes Bill!' then the Rabbit's
voice along--`Catch him, you by the hedge!' then silence, and then another
confusion of voices--`Hold up his head--Brandy now--Don't choke him--How was
it, old fellow? What happened to you? Tell us all about it!'
Last came
a little feeble, squeaking voice, (`That's Bill,' thought Alice,) `Well, I
hardly know--No more, thank ye; I'm better now--but I'm a deal too flustered to
tell you--all I know is, something comes at me like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I
goes like a sky-rocket!'
`So you
did, old fellow!' said the others.
`We must
burn the house down!' said the Rabbit's voice; and Alice called out as loud as
she could, `If you do. I'll set Dinah at you!'
There was
a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to herself, `I wonder what they
WILL do next! If they had any sense, they'd take the roof off.' After a minute
or two, they began moving about again, and Alice heard the Rabbit say, `A
barrowful will do, to begin with.'
`A
barrowful of WHAT?' thought Alice; but she had not long to doubt, for the next
moment a shower of little pebbles came rattling in at the window, and some of
them hit her in the face. `I'll put a stop to this,' she said to herself, and
shouted out, `You'd better not do that again!' which produced another dead
silence.
Alice
noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all turning into little cakes
as they lay on the floor, and a bright idea came into her head. `If I eat one
of these cakes,' she thought, `it's sure to make SOME change in my size; and as
it can't possibly make me larger, it must make me smaller, I suppose.'
So she
swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find that she began shrinking
directly. As soon as she was small enough to get through the door, she ran out
of the house, and found quite a crowd of little animals and birds waiting
outside. The poor little Lizard, Bill, was in the middle, being held up by two
guinea-pigs, who were giving it something out of a bottle. They all made a rush
at Alice the moment she appeared; but she ran off as hard as she could, and
soon found herself safe in a thick wood.
`The first
thing I've got to do,' said Alice to herself, as she wandered about in the
wood, `is to grow to my right size again; and the second thing is to find my
way into that lovely garden. I think that will be the best plan.'
It sounded
an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and simply arranged; the only
difficulty was, that she had not the smallest idea how to set about it; and
while she was peering about anxiously among the trees, a little sharp bark just
over her head made her look up in a great hurry.
An
enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round eyes, and feebly
stretching out one paw, trying to touch her. `Poor little thing!' said Alice,
in a coaxing tone, and she tried hard to whistle to it; but she was terribly
frightened all the time at the thought that it might be hungry, in which case
it would be very likely to eat her up in spite of all her coaxing.
Hardly
knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of stick, and held it out to
the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped into the air off all its feet at once,
with a yelp of delight, and rushed at the stick, and made believe to worry it;
then Alice dodged behind a great thistle, to keep herself from being run over;
and the moment she appeared on the other side, the puppy made another rush at
the stick, and tumbled head over heels in its hurry to get hold of it; then
Alice, thinking it was very like having a game of play with a cart-horse, and
expecting every moment to be trampled under its feet, ran round the thistle
again; then the puppy began a series of short charges at the stick, running a
very little way forwards each time and a long way back, and barking hoarsely
all the while, till at last it sat down a good way off, panting, with its
tongue hanging out of its mouth, and its great eyes half shut.
This
seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape; so she set off at
once, and ran till she was quite tired and out of breath, and till the puppy's
bark sounded quite faint in the distance.
`And yet
what a dear little puppy it was!' said Alice, as she leant against a buttercup
to rest herself, and fanned herself with one of the leaves: `I should have
liked teaching it tricks very much, if--if I'd only been the right size to do
it! Oh dear! I'd nearly forgotten that I've got to grow up again! Let me
see--how IS it to be managed? I suppose I ought to eat or drink something or
other; but the great question is, what?'
The great
question certainly was, what? Alice looked all round her at the flowers and the
blades of grass, but she did not see anything that looked like the right thing
to eat or drink under the circumstances. There was a large mushroom growing
near her, about the same height as herself; and when she had looked under it,
and on both sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to her that she might as
well look and see what was on the top of it.
She
stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of the mushroom, and
her eyes immediately met those of a large caterpillar, that was sitting on the
top with its arms folded, quietly smoking a long hookah, and taking not the
smallest notice of her or of anything else.
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