The
players all played at once without waiting for turns, quarrelling all the
while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in a very short time the Queen was
in a furious passion, and went stamping about, and shouting `Off with his
head!' or `Off with her head!' about once in a minute.
Alice
began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she had not as yet had any dispute with
the Queen, but she knew that it might happen any minute, `and then,' thought
she, `what would become of me? They're dreadfully fond of beheading people
here; the great wonder is, that there's any one left alive!'
She was
looking about for some way of escape, and wondering whether she could get away
without being seen, when she noticed a curious appearance in the air: it
puzzled her very much at first, but, after watching it a minute or two, she
made it out to be a grin, and she said to herself `It's the Cheshire Cat: now I
shall have somebody to talk to.'
`How are
you getting on?' said the Cat, as soon as there was mouth enough for it to
speak with.
Alice
waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. `It's no use speaking to it,'
she thought, `till its ears have come, or at least one of them.' In another
minute the whole head appeared, and then Alice put down her flamingo, and began
an account of the game, feeling very glad she had someone to listen to her. The
Cat seemed to think that there was enough of it now in sight, and no more of it
appeared.
`I don't
think they play at all fairly,' Alice began, in rather a complaining tone, `and
they all quarrel so dreadfully one can't hear oneself speak--and they don't
seem to have any rules in particular; at least, if there are, nobody attends to
them--and you've no idea how confusing it is all the things being alive; for
instance, there's the arch I've got to go through next walking about at the
other end of the ground--and I should have croqueted the Queen's hedgehog just
now, only it ran away when it saw mine coming!'
`How do
you like the Queen?' said the Cat in a low voice.
`Not at
all,' said Alice: `she's so extremely--' Just then she noticed that the Queen
was close behind her, listening: so she went on, `--likely to win, that it's
hardly worth while finishing the game.'
The Queen
smiled and passed on.
`Who ARE
you talking to?' said the King, going up to Alice, and looking at the Cat's
head with great curiosity.
`It's a
friend of mine--a Cheshire Cat,' said Alice: `allow me to introduce it.'
`I don't
like the look of it at all,' said the King: `however, it may kiss my hand if it
likes.'
`I'd
rather not,' the Cat remarked.
`Don't be
impertinent,' said the King, `and don't look at me like that!' He got behind
Alice as he spoke.
`A cat may
look at a king,' said Alice. `I've read that in some book, but I don't remember
where.'
`Well, it
must be removed,' said the King very decidedly, and he called the Queen, who
was passing at the moment, `My dear! I wish you would have this cat removed!'
The Queen
had only one way of settling all difficulties, great or small. `Off with his
head!' she said, without even looking round.
`I'll
fetch the executioner myself,' said the King eagerly, and he hurried off.
Alice
thought she might as well go back, and see how the game was going on, as she
heard the Queen's voice in the distance, screaming with passion. She had
already heard her sentence three of the players to be executed for having
missed their turns, and she did not like the look of things at all, as the game
was in such confusion that she never knew whether it was her turn or not. So
she went in search of her hedgehog.
The
hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog, which seemed to Alice an
excellent opportunity for croqueting one of them with the other: the only
difficulty was, that her flamingo was gone across to the other side of the
garden, where Alice could see it trying in a helpless sort of way to fly up
into a tree.
By the
time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back, the fight was over, and
both the hedgehogs were out of sight: `but it doesn't matter much,' thought
Alice, `as all the arches are gone from this side of the ground.' So she tucked
it away under her arm, that it might not escape again, and went back for a
little more conversation with her friend.
When she
got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to find quite a large crowd
collected round it: there was a dispute going on between the executioner, the
King, and the Queen, who were all talking at once, while all the rest were
quite silent, and looked very uncomfortable.
The moment
Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all three to settle the question, and
they repeated their arguments to her, though, as they all spoke at once, she
found it very hard indeed to make out exactly what they said.
The
executioner's argument was, that you couldn't cut off a head unless there was a
body to cut it off from: that he had never had to do such a thing before, and
he wasn't going to begin at HIS time of life.
The King's
argument was, that anything that had a head could be beheaded, and that you
weren't to talk nonsense.
The
Queen's argument was, that if something wasn't done about it in less than no
time she'd have everybody executed, all round. (It was this last remark that
had made the whole party look so grave and anxious.)
Alice
could think of nothing else to say but `It belongs to the Duchess: you'd better
ask HER about it.'
`She's in
prison,' the Queen said to the executioner: `fetch her here.' And the
executioner went off like an arrow.
The Cat's
head began fading away the moment he was gone, and, by the time he had come
back with the Dutchess, it had entirely disappeared; so the King and the
executioner ran wildly up and down looking for it, while the rest of the party
went back to the game.
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