|
"What do we WANT of a saw? Hain't we got to saw the leg of Jim's bed
off, so as to get the chain loose?"
"Why, you just said a body could lift up the bedstead and slip the
chain off."
"Well, if that ain't just like you, Huck Finn. You CAN get up the
infant-schooliest ways of going at a thing. Why, hain't you ever read any books
at all? -- Baron Trenck, nor Casanova, nor Benvenuto Chelleeny, nor Henri IV.,
nor none of them heroes? Who ever heard of getting a prisoner loose in such an
oldmaidy way as that? No; the way all the best authorities does is to saw the
bed-leg in two, and leave it just so, and swallow the sawdust, so it can't be
found, and put some dirt and grease around the sawed place so the very keenest
seneskal can't see no sign of it's being sawed, and thinks the bed-leg is
perfectly sound. Then, the night you're ready, fetch the leg a kick, down she
goes; slip off your chain, and there you are. Nothing to do but hitch your rope
ladder to the battlements, shin down it, break your leg in the moat -- because
a rope ladder is nineteen foot too short, you know -- and there's your horses
and your trusty vassles, and they scoop you up and fling you across a saddle,
and away you go to your native Langudoc, or Navarre, or wherever it is. It's
gaudy, Huck. I wish there was a moat to this cabin. If we get time, the night
of the escape, we'll dig one."
I says:
"What do we want of a moat when we're going to snake him out from under
the cabin?"
But he never heard me. He had forgot me and everything else. He had his chin
in his hand, thinking. Pretty soon he sighs and shakes his head; then sighs
again, and says:
"No, it wouldn't do -- there ain't necessity enough for it."
"For what?" I says.
"Why, to saw Jim's leg off," he says.
"Good land!" I says; "why, there ain't NO necessity for it.
And what would you want to saw his leg off for, anyway?"
"Well, some of the best authorities has done it. They couldn't get the
chain off, so they just cut their hand off and shoved. And a leg would be
better still. But we got to let that go. There ain't necessity enough in this
case; and, besides, Jim's a nigger, and wouldn't understand the reasons for it,
and how it's the custom in Europe; so we'll let it go. But there's one thing --
he can have a rope ladder; we can tear up our sheets and make him a rope ladder
easy enough. And we can send it to him in a pie; it's mostly done that way. And
I've et worse pies."
"Why, Tom Sawyer, how you talk," I says; "Jim ain't got no
use for a rope ladder."
"He HAS got use for it. How YOU talk, you better say; you don't know
nothing about it. He's GOT to have a rope ladder; they all do."
"What in the nation can he DO with it?"
"DO with it? He can hide it in his bed, can't he?" That's what
they all do; and HE'S got to, too. Huck, you don't ever seem to want to do
anything that's regular; you want to be starting something fresh all the time.
S'pose he DON'T do nothing with it? ain't it there in his bed, for a clew, after
he's gone? and don't you reckon they'll want clews? Of course they will. And
you wouldn't leave them any? That would be a PRETTY howdy-do, WOULDN'T it! I
never heard of such a thing."
"Well," I says, "if it's in the regulations, and he's got to
have it, all right, let him have it; because I don't wish to go back on no
regulations; but there's one thing, Tom Sawyer -- if we go to tearing up our
sheets to make Jim a rope ladder, we're going to get into trouble with Aunt
Sally, just as sure as you're born. Now, the way I look at it, a hickry-bark
ladder don't cost nothing, and don't waste nothing, and is just as good to load
up a pie with, and hide in a straw tick, as any rag ladder you can start; and
as for Jim, he ain't had no experience, and so he don't care what kind of a
--"
"Oh, shucks, Huck Finn, if I was as ignorant as you I'd keep still --
that's what I'D do. Who ever heard of a state prisoner escaping by a
hickry-bark ladder? Why, it's perfectly ridiculous."
"Well, all right, Tom, fix it your own way; but if you'll take my
advice, you'll let me borrow a sheet off of the clothesline."
He said that would do. And that gave him another idea, and he says:
"Borrow a shirt, too."
"What do we want of a shirt, Tom?"
"Want it for Jim to keep a journal on."
"Journal your granny -- JIM can't write."
"S'pose he CAN'T write -- he can make marks on the shirt, can't he, if
we make him a pen out of an old pewter spoon or a piece of an old iron
barrelhoop ?"
"Why, Tom, we can pull a feather out of a goose and make him a better
one; and quicker, too."
"PRISONERS don't have geese running around the donjon-keep to pull pens
out of, you muggins. They ALWAYS make their pens out of the hardest, toughest,
troublesomest piece of old brass candlestick or something like that they can
get their hands on; and it takes them weeks and weeks and months and months to
file it out, too, because they've got to do it by rubbing it on the wall. THEY
wouldn't use a goose-quill if they had it. It ain't regular."
"Well, then, what'll we make him the ink out of?"
"Many makes it out of iron-rust and tears; but that's the common sort
and women; the best authorities uses their own blood. Jim can do that; and when
he wants to send any little common ordinary mysterious message to let the world
know where he's captivated, he can write it on the bottom of a tin plate with a
fork and throw it out of the window. The Iron Mask always done that, and it's a
blame' good way, too."
"Jim ain't got no tin plates. They feed him in a pan."
"That ain't nothing; we can get him some."
"Can't nobody READ his plates."
"That ain't got anything to DO with it, Huck Finn. All HE'S got to do
is to write on the plate and throw it out. You don't HAVE to be able to read
it. Why, half the time you can't read anything a prisoner writes on a tin
plate, or anywhere else."
"Well, then, what's the sense in wasting the plates?"
"Why, blame it all, it ain't the PRISONER'S plates."
"But it's SOMEBODY'S plates, ain't it?"
"Well, spos'n it is? What does the PRISONER care whose --"
He broke off there, because we heard the breakfasthorn blowing. So we
cleared out for the house.
Along during the morning I borrowed a sheet and a white shirt off of the
clothes-line; and I found an old sack and put them in it, and we went down and
got the fox-fire, and put that in too. I called it borrowing, because that was
what pap always called it; but Tom said it warn't borrowing, it was stealing.
He said we was representing prisoners; and prisoners don't care how they get a
thing so they get it, and nobody don't blame them for it, either. It ain't no
crime in a prisoner to steal the thing he needs to get away with, Tom said;
it's his right; and so, as long as we was representing a prisoner, we had a
perfect right to steal anything on this place we had the least use for to get
ourselves out of prison with. He said if we warn't prisoners it would be a very
different thing, and nobody but a mean, ornery person would steal when he
warn't a prisoner. So we allowed we would steal everything there was that come
handy. And yet he made a mighty fuss, one day, after that, when I stole a
watermelon out of the nigger-patch and eat it; and he made me go and give the
niggers a dime without telling them what it was for. Tom said that what he
meant was, we could steal anything we NEEDED. Well, I says, I needed the
watermelon. But he said I didn't need it to get out of prison with; there's
where the difference was. He said if I'd a wanted it to hide a knife in, and
smuggle it to Jim to kill the seneskal with, it would a been all right. So I
let it go at that, though I couldn't see no advantage in my representing a
prisoner if I got to set down and chaw over a lot of gold-leaf distinctions
like that every time I see a chance to hog a watermelon.
Well, as I was saying, we waited that morning till everybody was settled
down to business, and nobody in sight around the yard; then Tom he carried the
sack into the lean-to whilst I stood off a piece to keep watch. By and by he
come out, and we went and set down on the woodpile to talk. He says:
"Everything's all right now except tools; and that's easy fixed."
"Tools?" I says.
"Yes."
"Tools for what?"
"Why, to dig with. We ain't a-going to GNAW him out, are we?"
"Ain't them old crippled picks and things in there good enough to dig a
nigger out with?" I says.
He turns on me, looking pitying enough to make a body cry, and says:
"Huck Finn, did you EVER hear of a prisoner having picks and shovels,
and all the modern conveniences in his wardrobe to dig himself out with? Now I
want to ask you -- if you got any reasonableness in you at all -- what kind of
a show would THAT give him to be a hero? Why, they might as well lend him the
key and done with it. Picks and shovels -- why, they wouldn't furnish 'em to a
king."
"Well, then," I says, "if we don't want the picks and
shovels, what do we want?"
|